Mindfulness And Your Wedding Ceremony
‘Mindfulness’, it's a word we hear a lot lately and a practice that brings us back to ourselves. Mindfulness is an important practice that we can work into our daily lives, and it is so beneficial, especially in times like these. A mindfulness practice calms and centres us, enabling us to see the bigger picture and live in the present moment, but how do you bring mindfulness into your wedding day?
THEODORE speaks with Sydney based 'The Mindful Celebrant'. Sal has been a yoga and meditation teacher for 7 years, as well as a Reiki master. She's now a celebrant and uses her skills to guide couples into a mindful wedding day.
“Learning how to be mindful ahead of your Wedding Ceremony means allowing yourself to enjoy it entirely…”
Give us a little introduction to who you are?
I'm Sal and I'm an inclusive, NSW-based, professional hitcher (aka. Marriage Celebrant)! I live in Avoca Beach on the Central Coast, but I often travel all over the state (and beyond) for Ceremonies. I identify as she/her, and I like to think of my role in a couple's Ceremony as their Storyteller and Champion for Love! I believe that storytelling is one of the most important elements of our culture. For thousands of years, stories have brought people together in moments of joy and moments of celebration. And this is my aim for your Ceremony.. to tell your story and bring your guests along on your journey so that they can celebrate the two of you!
Why 'The Mindful Celebrant'?
I've been a Yoga and Meditation teacher for about 7 years, and I love connecting with people from all walks of life. I'm also a Reiki Master, so I've specialised in teaching 'mindfulness' on many levels to people for various big life events and situations. When I decided to become a Celebrant – the name, 'The Mindful Celebrant', just kind of stuck!
While we're on the topic of mindfulness, let's discuss the importance of mindfulness in the wedding ceremony; why is it important for couples to be mindful?
Being mindful is about being fully present and engaged in whatever you're doing. I like to describe it as remembering how to feel alive, by using all 5 of your senses to allow you to embody that activity or event and be 'all there'. Learning how to be mindful ahead of your Wedding Ceremony means allowing yourself to enjoy it entirely too! (By not stressing about what has gone before that moment, and not worrying about what will happen later on in the day/night ahead).
What are some ways in which couples can be mindful?
When I got married, one thing I was grateful for was a piece of advice given to us by a friend – Make sure you take 5 minutes' time out' alone together to pause in all of the noise of your day and just be fully present! This allowed us to have gratitude for everything we had created on the day, but also for each other and how far we had come as a couple.
Some other ways that couples can be mindful might be - asking your guests to put their phones away to create an 'unplugged' atmosphere, so people can be present with you in person (not through their screen camera). Also, perhaps taking time to feel the sunshine (or rain) on your skin if you're outside, taking in the different smells of your guests as you hug them, imprinting visuals into your memory (like the way your partner looks at you when you first catch sight of each other on the day)! All of these 'mini moments can lead us to create an overall feeling of Joy. I also work with some of my couples on breathing techniques to help calm their nerves before their Ceremony. Some couples even decide to include a grounding meditation for their guests and themselves, or they ask me to provide an energy cleansing ritual of the space prior to the Ceremony - either using Reiki or smudging techniques. I like to encourage being mindful of our surroundings too and the history of the Land by including an Acknowledgement of Country and paying respects to the traditional Indigenous custodians of the Land on which we Celebrate.
Let's talk about your approach to weddings. What makes you unique?
I like to get to know my couples really well from the start so that they feel comfortable sharing all of the special, fun and unique details of their love story with me. Then I handwrite a bespoke Ceremony that tells their story in a way that feels more like an old friend sharing anecdotes to make you laugh out loud, cry, and feel it all! Ultimately, I can then help bring everyone there along with you on your journey. I have written various special E-books that I share with my couples too when they book in with me. These are full to the brim with ideas, inspiration, special Ceremonial rituals (as well as how we might include them), plus a guide for writing meaningful vows. I'm definitely not a boring or stuffy Celebrant, and for couples who invite me to help them create a holistic experience (sharing energy healing, meditation or special rituals that are unique for them), these couples make my heart sing!
What kind of couples and style of weddings would you say you cater too?
I cater to pretty much everyone, to be honest! Quite simply, if you're in Love - then I would love to marry you! That is - however, you choose to identify (or 'not' to identify), and whoever you choose to be your' life person', then I want to work with you, and I feel proud to marry couples from all walks of life. Everyone who finds me has something unique and extra special to celebrate. As far as Wedding Ceremonies go, I have created everything from large, bohemian 'Festivals of Love' to small, intimate clifftop elopements to surprise Engagement parties-come-Wedding Ceremonies, to special personalised garden Weddings at home… even in my own backyard! So, anything goes, as long as it's authentically you!
How do you ensure your couples get a ceremony that is totally unique to them?
I meet with my couples in person wherever possible and spend time with them over coffee (or wine), initially to find out what makes them tick. Not just what they love about each other, but what they don't love about each other too! I have a cute questionnaire that I share also, and that helps me to 'fossick for gold', (as I like to put it)! We often really laugh together and have been known to chat for hours..! (I have been kicked out of many a café at closing time)! Once I have the juicy bits, and a great feel for their two personalities and how they 'fit' together, I go away and write their Ceremony from scratch. I always send a draft copy of it to my couples too. This ensures that I can be funny, risqué and personal to an edge that they feel comfortable with (and without offending anyone's Grandma)! I've been known to surprise some of my couples too, with stories, readings or rituals, (when I know they trust me fully)! It's always worked like magic!
Do you think it's time, as a whole, we relook the way wedding ceremonies are performed?
Definitely! I think that traditionally, the Ceremony itself used to have this reputation of being the 'boring bit' at the start of the fun party. The good news is that I strongly believe, (as do many of my Celebrant peers), that this is about as outdated as believing that you have to be 'given away' or sing hymns! There have been SO many markers for change in this country - from gay marriage being legalised in 2017, to the C-Word (Covid) changing the face of Weddings in 2020. I work super hard to make sure that whoever and however you decide to marry, your experience of your Ceremony is far from boring and all about inclusion and Love. In fact – THIS is the party starter – and this is what leads you into your party on a wave of momentum and good vibes, riding high on Love and Life!
In your opinion, what makes a perfect wedding?
I would say that the key to a perfect wedding is for both parties to truly honour their own boundaries and have the freedom to be themselves! That means putting your own wishes above that of everyone else who might wish to be involved (especially family members who want to take charge)! The most important thing of all is really just the two of YOU. Feeling safe and welcome to be you and to celebrate you is everything! As you make your promises to each other to travel the journey of life – together, this becomes more important than ever. So, when you honour what you really want to create as a couple and the Ceremony that you want to have, the Wedding is always perfect!
Be it 300 people strong, or just the two of you, me and two witnesses.
And finally, sum up a Mindful Celebrant wedding in 3 words.
Heartfelt, Creative & unapologetically YOU!
(That's 3 right)!?
You can find The Mindful Celebrant on the THEODORE wedding directory.
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