Dane and Ben: Effortlessly Dapper at Redleaf Estate Wollombi
Situated in the Hunter Valley region, Readleaf Estate Wollombi played host to Dane and Ben's effortlessly dapper Spring wedding. "We really wanted the day to feel like a party," Dane tells us, "we also wanted to make sure the day captured who we are as a couple."
Photographer Candice Campbell Photography | Venue Redleaf Estate Wollombi
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How and when did you meet?
Dane: Both Ben and I worked for a clothing store in Sydney when we were in our early teens. I had just moved to Sydney from the Hunter Valley for a city change, and we met officially at an interview while going for the same job. Before that, I had seen a picture of Ben in the company's fortnightly magazine brief and thought he was attractive.
Tell us a little about the first time you met?
Dane: Outside of our brief hello at a job interview, we met again at the work Christmas party. After a few drinks, Ben was slowly dancing closer and closer towards me until he was basically dancing on me.
Ben: We met properly at the work Christmas party, and I was well and truly full of liquid courage when I made a move on Dane. In my mind, I thought I was suave and irresistible, but from what I was told, I was just a hot mess wearing an afro wig trying to chat Dane up.
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
Dane: Ben's eyebrows and extremely attractive face.
Ben: Dane's big blue eyes, boyish charm, blonde hair - with long side fringe, he could shake his moneymaker and had a gorgeous smile.
Any standout moments in your relationship?
Ben: When I first started dating Dane, I still wasn't 'out' to my family, and I was struggling to get enough courage to tell them. However, Dane helped me to take the plunge, which consequently assisted me in accepting myself and allowing my family to share the happiness we developed.
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?
Dane: Growing up in a small country town was hard when you are still discovering your sexuality and who you are as a person. There was a lot of judgement which was a struggle, but I have always surrounded myself with quality people, and thankfully, my family and I have a bond like no other. After coming out, I never felt isolated or non-accepted with their support.
Ben: I was fortunate growing up in the Eastern Suburbs as I had no issues with being accepted and had phenomenal support from family, friends, neighbours etc. The only person who had to accept me, in the end, was myself. That was by far the hardest part.
What does marriage mean to you?
Dane: Marriage was always something I wanted with Ben. I remember telling him 2 years into our relationship that I was expecting this to happen (mind you this was 6 years before it was legal). Marriage is a symbol of love between two people regardless of beliefs or sexuality. It's a commitment to one person who you want to spend your life with.
Ben: Before I met Dane, marriage was just a piece of paper. Over time, my opinion shifted as I began to realise it was a symbol of our love, a sign that I trusted and chose him above all others, and an opportunity to show others how much we love and adore each other.
Who proposed and how?
Dane: Ben proposed to me while in Paris. I actually remember saying before months before he proposed "Proposing in Paris is so Cliché." I had been waiting years for him to ask, so I guess beggars can't be choosers.
We had just got back into Paris after a few days travelling through Morocco with friends, and one night before we flew out, Ben wanted to see the Louvre at night. However, I didn't as I was tired, so I was a little sour on the metro (to say the least). I was looking at photos Ben had just taken of me, assessing his photography skills, when I looked up, and Ben was on one knee with a ring in a box that he had been carrying around Europe for 3 weeks.
When did you get married?
We got married on the October long weekend, the 5th of October 2019.
Dane & Ben’s story continues below. ↓
What was the primary influence behind your wedding day?
Dane: We really wanted the day to feel like a party. You spend so much money and time planning the day we wanted it to feel relaxed and intimate with everyone we loved. We also wanted to make sure the day captured who we are as a couple, which is fun and outgoing guys who love food and a good gin and tonic.
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
Dane: We wanted to be sure our family and friends were close by during the whole day, which explains why our wedding party was huge. I wanted to be sure that everyone that I love so much played a role in the day. Our Nieces and Nephews walked down the aisle, Our Dads were our witnesses, our Mums said a speech, our siblings and friends were beside us when we said I Do etc.
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
Dane: I had been pinning wedding ideas for years on Pinterest and Instagram. I remember struggling to find ideas of same-sex weddings, google wasn't much of a help, but when I came across Mr Theodore it was like a breath of fresh air.
How did you choose your suppliers?
Dane: Our florist was a no brainer, I have been following Rach from Botanica Bird for years and love everything she does. Furniture hire we utilised a local party hire place (Beavis Hire) and had been following another hire company on Instagram who supplied the lounges (Simply Seated).
We would have lunch on the weekend every so often at a local café in Newcastle and later realised they were a preferred caterer (Fennel and Co.) for the venue, so that was perfect.
Any standout suppliers?
Dane: The dynamic duo that is YWC and Botanica Bird! Rach and I had planned the majority of the design together, but I need some help on the day to set everything up. Emily, the creative director from YWC Productions, was an absolute blessing. Rach and Emily work so well together, the weddings and events they do are incredible, and they offered so much helpful advice leading up to the day and brought everything together so effortlessly. Honestly would recommend them to everyone!
Our celebrant was such a fantastic person; also, she was so accommodating and helpful. Ben and I had Dom Fox and her wife over for coffee leading up, and it was refreshing knowing a gay person was going to be the one officiating our marriage.
As for the catering, Tess from Fennel and Co. ensured the food was spectacular and came out on time.
Any surprises on your wedding day? Or anything that didn't go to plan?
Dane: SOOO MANY.
Washing my hair with lightening shampoo three weeks before the wedding and turning it orange.
Not having a wet weather option as the venue wouldn't allow a marquee to be up for 3 days for the long weekend. It actually bucketed down, but somehow circled the venue and missed us.
I bought my wedding shoes from Louis Vuitton 4 months before the wedding and didn't try them on again until the week before realising they gave me the wrong size. There was one pair left in Australia which arrived 2 days before the wedding.
Ben pulling a muscle in his neck the day before the wedding and racing into the nearest town for a massage. To his surprise, he was offered a happy ending.
Ben's one job of organising enough candlesticks for the 100 candle holders I hand painted. I realised he packed 40 the morning of the wedding, thankfully his Brother saved the day.
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
Dane: BUDGET, I'm a spender, and a dreamer and Ben is a realist and a tight @$$. Whenever I had an idea, I would need to present it to him as if it were a business pitch. I would also present him with the most expensive option and end with the cheaper option, so he felt like he was saving money.
Ben: Reigning in Dane's spending was hard work. He thought he fooled me with a cheaper option, but I knew exactly what he was doing. I also was too lazy to research other prices, so I let him have what he needed.
Where did you spend your honeymoon?
Dane: Ben's Brother got married two weeks after us, so we wanted somewhere close to prevent any extra travel and to unwind. We decided on Bali because we had been there many times and knew we wouldn't spend too much time seeing the sights we had already seen. While there we stayed in some beautiful accommodation in Seminyak and Nusa Dua and spent a lot of time chilling out in Uluwatu.
Any advice for other couples planning their day?
Dane: If you are a creative person, still seek a stylist! I wanted to have creative control for the day; however, I bit off more than I could chew, and it stressed me out a lot. I would have booked Emily from YWC much earlier 12knowing how accommodating she was with my style and her knowledge with events was the help I needed. Also, always over budget to compensate for hidden costs that pop up out of nowhere.
Ben: Always ask for help and support from people around you. Never try to handle it all on your own as it is a big event which needs a team. Also, expect it to get stressful, but remember to support one another throughout the difficulties and the end result will be an amazing day to remember. Ps. If something goes wrong on the day, no one will know, and you won't even care.
Dane & Ben’s Wedding Suppliers
Photographer Candice Campbell Photography
Videographer Nigel Hendricks- HK Studios
Venue Redleaf Estate Wollombi
Dane’s Suit P Johnson
Ben’s Suit MJ Bale
Wedding Party Attire Groomsmen MJ Bale, Ladies Bec & Bridge, Flower Girls Marlo Kids
Flowers Botanica Bird
Styling YWC Productions
Cake Hello Naomi
Stationery Peterkin Paper
Celebrant Dom Fox
Catering Fennel and Co.
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