Natalie and Astina: A Union of Love
Natalie and Astina’s love story blossomed from a chance encounter during a mock trial competition, where Natalie, a law student, found herself drawn to Astina’s charismatic nature. Despite initial perceptions, their relationship deepened, leading to a heartfelt proposal from Astina, complete with a cat-delivered ring. Focusing on ensuring their guests’ enjoyment and incorporating elements of traditional Chinese customs, Natalie and Astina married at Hedsor House in the UK in August of 2023.
Photographer Lewis Membery | Location Hedsor House, UK
“...After a strenuous effort chasing the cat around our lift lobby (we live in an apartment building) and retrieving him, Astina got me to look at the collar, which said, ‘Will you marry my human?’ - and the rest is history.”
How and when did you meet?
Natalie: We went to the same secondary school, though Astina was five years ahead of me (though you'd never guess given how baby-faced she looks!) - so I'd grown up knowing of her without actually knowing her. We properly got to know each other in 2018 when I was in my final year of university doing a post-graduate certification course for law, and I joined a "mooting" (essentially a mock trial) competition. She was the coach and there's just something about a slightly illicit relationship that made things especially exciting...
Tell us a little about that first time you met…
Natalie: We properly met when Astina began coaching this "mock trial" team I was in. We kept a respectful distance from each other (as a student ought to, with a coach). I thought she was interesting and charismatic but never thought things might develop any further.
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
Astina: I first thought Nat was pretty serious and a bit of a goody-two-shoes - until I realised she was secretly playing Snake (that classic Nokia game) online whilst pretending to listen during one of our coaching sessions. That's when I realised there's probably something more to her.
Natalie: I first noticed Astina's suit. I thought she looked good!
Tell us about the standout moments in your relationship…
Natalie: One of the standout moments is when Astina proposed to me, and one of the first things she told me was that she had asked my parents for their blessing. She knew how much this meant to me and how much it had always been a worry lingering at the back of my mind that we wouldn't be able to get to this stage - and the fact she had mustered up the courage to ask my parents for their blessing (especially knowing the complications which had come before), and actually gotten it, really sealed the deal for me even as I came to realise later on the most important thing above all was "us" instead of anyone else's approval.
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?
Natalie: Coming from a traditional Chinese family with parents who have met some ex-boyfriends, it was a pretty huge shock to my parents when I decided to come out to them six months into our relationship. Both my parents took it pretty hard - especially my dad, whose reaction took me by surprise as well as I had always thought him more laidback. It was pretty turbulent for a while in the household especially as I still lived at home. It took over a year until my dad began to talk to me again more normally. Luckily, we have had extremely supportive friends who have been there for us throughout this journey.
Astina: I have been very fortunate with my family, who have always been accepting of me and my partners. For me it was more a question of getting over my own self-consciousness and embracing my identity and the relationship.
What does marriage mean to you?
For us, marriage is about a public declaration - witnessed by a couple's nearest and dearest - of dedication and love and commitment. It is about two people pledging to share their lives together in front of everyone who is important to them, and sharing the culmination of love and joy with friends and family who have witnessed the relationship flourishing and coming to fruition.
Who proposed and how?
Natalie: Astina did (first), the day before Valentine's Day. She cooked up an elaborate plan that involved getting me out of the house with the help of several friends, including one who baked a decoy cake to make me think *I* was the one planning a surprise party for Astina. But when I got back to the house (cake in hand), our cat sprinted out of the door - to Astina's immense horror, because the cat had the ring tied around its collar... After a strenuous effort chasing the cat around our lift lobby (we live in an apartment building) and retrieving him, Astina got me to look at the collar, which said, "Will you marry my human?" - and the rest is history.
Astina: A week later, Nat sprung the question on me with a watch... I had never imagined I'd ever be proposed to, but turns out the feeling of your partner getting down on one knee is pretty cool!
When did you get married?
13th August 2023.
Natalie and Astina’s story continues below ↓
What was the main influence behind your wedding day?
Natalie: I don't think we had a "main influence" as such, but one thing I did think about was the need for everyone to have a good time - so we were keen to cut down on formalities and the like, and to try to focus on creating an experience which would enable everyone to move around, socialise, drink and eat lots, and generally enjoy themselves.
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
The most important thing to us was that our guests enjoyed themselves. Almost all of our guests were flying in from across the world to join us and we wanted the wedding day (and the rehearsal dinner the night before) to be fun - an occasion to catch up with old friends and party and celebrate love and friendship.
Did you incorporate any family sentiments or traditions?
We had a traditional Chinese tea ceremony, kneeling before our parents and other family members and pouring tea for them as a newly-wed couple. This was important for us because it symbolised each of us becoming a part of the other's family and honouring traditional Chinese values of filial piety and respect.
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
Natalie: I went on Pinterest and Instagram mostly. I also looked at the feeds of our planner, photographer, videographer, venue etc. in particular to see if there were bits that looked nice.
How did you choose your suppliers?
Most of them were recommended by our amazing planner, Louise.
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
For us it was the fact we were based overseas (in Hong Kong). We only had one trip to the UK in January 2023 - but that was way after we had confirmed our venue, caterer etc., meaning we had to make quite a few decisions in the abstract without actually seeing things in person. It was great having Louise and her team help us throughout, and we got to speak with a number of our vendors on Zoom, so that gave us some sense of what was going on virtually.
Where did you spend your honeymoon?
We spent a few days in Paris, and then went down to Provence for around a week, enjoying lots of sun, good food, and ample amounts of rosé. We like to call it a "mini-moon", since we are deferring Nat's dream honeymoon destination (a safari trip) till later...
Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?
Just trust that things will work out at the end, and don't sweat the small things! At the end of the day many details won't matter, and if anything the minor hiccups (e.g. the amazing timing of Nat getting the mother of all sore throats the day of the wedding) will be a funny memory.
Natalie and Astina’s Team
Venue Hedsor House
Photographer Lewis Membery
Videographer Meros Productions (Harvey)
Planner Louise Perry Weddings
Florals Wild About Flowers
Caterer Goose & Berry
Band The White Keys
Strings Niche London Quartet
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