Josh and Phillip: Medieval Magic
It was a wedding full of Medieval charm for Josh and Phillip who married at the historic Montsalvat. “Genuine, fuss-free and filled with love,” is how the gents described their Spring wedding, where they definitely didn’t allow the rain to ruin their celebration.
Photographer Emily Howlett Photography | Venue Montsalvat Arts Centre
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How and when did you meet?
Almost 13 years ago, very drunk at The Exchange on Commercial Rd. Romantic, huh?
Tell us a little about the first time you met?
Josh: I was dragged out to a club one night when all I felt like doing was going to bed! A couple of hours into a flat evening I turn and saw this boy dancing merrily on a podium. Limbs flying everywhere like he was made of elastic. He was so confident in himself he doesn't care who was looking or what judgements they may pass. Clearly he had a few drinks by this point. The song ends and he tumbles down off the podium, misjudges the crowd below and lands on my foot! Normally you would just do a polite nod, assuring the person you are ok, no hard feelings and move on with your night. I felt differently, I couldn't stop looking at his smile. It was so sweet, so genuine, infectious. Next thing I know I'm chatting to him about his evening and buying him a drink - even though he landed on my foot. Over the den of excessively loud music I vaguely establish his name to be 'Bill' and he must be, MUST BE; about 21 - 22 years old. I guess I didn't get a lot of the introductory details right!
Phil: That sounds about right! My roommate and best friend Roxanne was in a long distance relationship at the time and her boyfriend had come to Melbourne to visit. The three of us went out for a big night and were being absolute menaces!
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
Josh: It was the smile. There is something about it that says he had never known sadness or hard times - I later found out that he had faced these things like all people but he has a unique way to look past these troubles and see the good that comes out of it.
Phil: His beautiful eyes and he was wearing a really cute T shirt! This was definitely a man that I wanted to get to know more. When we went somewhere quieter, I realised he was insanely witty - a great conversationalist and very clever.
Any standout moments in your relationship?
Josh: Our first date. It was unique. I booked us into Riva Bar in St Kilda - a little on the swanky side for which I'm dressed to impress. Here we are sitting in a beautiful candlelit restaurant. Me in shirt collar and blazer like I have come from a business meeting, sitting across from Phil nibbling on his roasted duck paired with a classy red, wearing a T-Shirt with the slogan "Let Me Entertain You" written in bold print. To look at us was to see Chalk and Cheese. A couple of hours later we ventured down to the rocks past St Kilda pier. We sat there for ages talking. But every time one of us would make a move on the other, a colony of penguins hidden in the rocks would choose that exact moment to come out and would starting cooing as if encouraging us to kiss. That was the most bizarre but magical night of my life.
Phil: There have been so many big, wonderful moments, but for me, it was the little things when we were a newer couple that I'd love to jump back into.
I remember in our first proper house together, it had a little courtyard, which we decorated with some lights and a little table and chair setting, sitting out underneath a big tree, drinking wine and talking about the future, and having no idea how things would pan out. Anything felt possible - I don't think I could have felt more powerful or secure.
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?
Phil: Coming from a very traditional orthodox family, I have been strongly aware that much of my extended family have strong views on same-sex relationships. My direct family have been a wonderful support and our biggest champions and supporters, as have Josh’s family. In the preparation for the wedding, I had put an open invitation to family, and was pleasantly surprised by the amount of family members that were excited to join us for our special day.
What does marriage mean to you?
Josh: Getting married was always part of the whole "When I grow up I want to do this" list. But, unfortunately, as it wasn't legal for me to do I had to put it to the back of my mind. But now the world has changed and it became even more important - not for the piece of paper, not for the ceremony but purely for the fact that I get to say how much I love Phillip to the whole world and there is nothing stopping us from doing anything we want.
Phil: For us, we weren’t making promises to each other for the first time. We had already promised our lives to each other - albeit quietly and in private.
We have already built a life and a home together.
Our worlds are already intertwined.
Marriage for me at this point in our relationship is a public declaration. It is sharing the words that we have shared with each other to our family and friends.
For so long, we have fought for our relationship to be tolerated, then to be accepted, and now it is time to be celebrated.
Who proposed and how?
Phil: Both of us! I originally proposed to Josh nearly seven years ago, just before Christmas on Grange Beach in Adelaide. After the same-sex marriage bill was passed, Josh surprised me on my 30th birthday by getting down on one knee and proposing to me, as a sign that we would actually be able to wed that year. It was so romantic, unexpected and special.
When did you get married?
Saturday, 19th October 2019.
Josh & Phillip’s story continues below ↓
What was the main influence behind your wedding day?
US, our relationship. We had been waiting for this day for a really, really long time, and this was really the one opportunity to celebrate love, our relationship, and the people who have helped us get to where we are. Everything else was secondary.
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
That the day was genuine, fuss-free and filled with love. That our family and friends were involved and knew just how important they were to us. That the dance floor was pumping, food and drink were abundant and everyone hand an awesome time!
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
The venue and season was the springboard for most of our inspiration. Jewel tones, spring vibes, warm textures dictated most of our design elements.
How did you choose your suppliers?
We wanted to make sure that all of our suppliers were not only LGBTQIA allies, but also genuine supporters that were here for the right reasons. Mr.Theodore was actually our first port of call to find suppliers!
Any standout suppliers?
There were four suppliers in particular who went above and beyond for us:
Hailey Andrews (Celebrate with Hailey) - Our ceremony was the most personal, touching, surprising ceremony I have been witness to. The amount of effort that Hailey put in to find out the special moments in our relationship, and to include all of our special people meant that she got to the heart of why this was important to us. She also threw in a surprise or two in our ceremony just for us, catching us completely off guard in the most wonderful way possible. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room!
Emily Howlett (Emily Howlett Photography) - From the little engagement photo shoot that she includes as part of her service to make sure her couples are comfortable in front of the camera, to the sheer volume of special moments that she captured, Emily is worth her weight in gold! We were so happy with our wedding album - Emily’s naturalistic style and wonderful use of light highlighted our day perfectly. In her own words, the woman is a photographic ninja - and believe is, not a truer word has been spoken! There were special moments that she managed to capture from three or four different angles which I genuinely have no idea how she managed.
Eddy Mac (One More Song Entertainment) - Our dance floor was banger after banger! Eddy made our ceremony a proper party! He read the room really well, and any time the dance floor looked like it was going to ease off, he picked the perfect song to reel the crowd back in.
Rebecca Elias (Miss Gateau) - Our wedding cake was AMAZING. We wanted a cake that all of our guests could enjoy, and Rebecca made the most delicious Gluten-free raspberry whites chocolate three-tiered masterpiece for our special day.
Did you find it difficult to translate more common traditions into a ‘same-sex’ wedding?
Josh: I had a clear desire for each of us to be walked down the aisle by both of our parents, which we achieved. We also wanted to write our own vows, as a lot of the traditional words didn’t capture what we wanted to say to each other. We also kept these completely secret, as we wanted to make these promises for the first time in front of our family and friends.
Phil: Yeah, we tossed around the idea of a wedding party, but it didn’t really resonate with us. The idea of earmarking a group of friends and putting them in matching outfits didn’t seem to make sense in the context of our day. For us, we had a look at what we wanted the day to be about, and if a tradition didn’t speak to that, then we got rid of it!
Any surprises on your wedding day? Or anything that didn’t go to plan?
The weather! We had everything planned for a garden wedding, but the weather turned on our way to the venue. The plan B space was absolutely beautiful though, and all of these funny things that happen on the day contribute to making it special.
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
Josh: Surprisingly little! We were prepared for the process to be really difficult, but the hard parts never really happened.
Phil: Yeah, we had a really good run finding suppliers that resonated with us. I think the hardest part was taking traditions and making the event feel authentic. Weirdly, I feel like everything fell in place when Josh found his velvet blazer- in a lot of ways, this was the first item that gave me a clear mental picture of what the day was going to look like.
Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?
Josh: Remember that the day is about you and your partner. We live in an age where uniqueness is valued as much as tradition, so let go of the stress of trying to please friends and family - the moment you do that, the wedding becomes about the two of you and that is the most important element. When choosing our suppliers, we felt that if we felt that we could hang out with them over a beer or wine, like a mate, they would be the suppliers for us!
Phil: Have a look at each element that you are adding to the day, and if you don’t know why it’s there, then get rid of it! Surround yourself with people - suppliers, friends and family - that will help make the day easy, special, and will take care of any troubleshooting for you if need be. Remember, things won’t go according to plan - but none of that should get in the way of this being the best day of your life!
Josh & Phillip’s Suppliers
Photographer Emily Howlett Photography
Venue Montsalvat Arts Centre
Suits Josh: Jack London, Phil: Bell and Barnett
Flowers supplied by Montsalvat
Cars TripleR
Cake Rebecca Elias (Miss Gateau)
Stationery Paperlust
Celebrant Hailey Andrews (Celebrate with Hailey)
Gelato Cart Gelati Papa
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