8 Steps To Make Your Wedding Day - YOU!
When I say ‘you’, I mean the collective you.
If you’re getting married there’s at least two in the party; sometimes more.
But this is the point where couples can get confused.
By Klara McMurray – Funky Celebrant
Klara McMurray - aka The Funky Celebrant at the wedding of Sue and Lousie.
Photo By Jackson Grant Weddings
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Is your wedding about you two, or everybody else?
Having been a celebrant for the better part of seven years, I’ve seen a lot.
Over-enthusiastic parents.
Well-meaning friends.
Domineering vendors.
You’re going to face all sorts of pressure, influence, and sometimes, adversity.
Planning a wedding can be a tricky process; akin to trying to juggle water.
But the good news is:
It doesn’t have to be that way!
For many couples embarking on the adventure, they’re fresh, green and can be anywhere between having a fully-fledged plan, to absolutely no frickin’ idea.
Both ends of the spectrum are absolutely fine, that’s why you hire awesome vendors.
But how can you utilize these experts to their full potential, and more poignantly, how can you ensure your special day ends up exactly how you want - sans backlash?
Spoiler alert – it’s totally achievable!
Follow these 8 steps and insider tips, and ensure your wedding day fantasies, really do come true.
Step 1 - Start Dreaming Baby!
Dream big, dream small, but either way let yourself dream
Before you let in outside influence, the best plan is to know your plan.
Give yourselves time to talk, write, drink and laugh.
Think about the best and worst of weddings you’ve seen and start to figure out how to make yours the triumph you deserve.
Will it be intimate or revelrous?
Are you beach babies, forest fairies, inner-city groovers or country funkies?
Do you have a special date?
If not, what’s your favourite season?
If you can figure this stuff out, you’re a long way ahead of everybody else.
Put your heads together and work out what you want, and then commit to seeing that plan play out, no matter what anybody else thinks.
You have the opportunity to create a legendary event that reflects your vibe perfectly.
Step 2 - press release time…or is it?
This is a pivotal moment; do you want to let everybody else in or reserve the news for yourselves?
Some prefer keeping it a surprise, and I’ve had many couples disguise their wedding as an engagement or birthday.
Surprise weddings are a whole other fabulous tangent but let’s not go there now.
By all means; tell the world, after all, it’s pretty awesome news, but if you’ve got those initial ideas in place, it’s going to make you a lot stronger in conversing with others.
“We’re two pretty easy going, happy, humorous guys and we wanted our wedding to reflect that in as many aspects as possible.
We were just glad that our parents and siblings rolled with whatever we chose.”
Step 3 - Set Boundaries
Politely let your family and friends know, that you and your partner are very happy creating your wedding dreams alone.
Throwing in something about ‘being grateful in the knowledge that everyone is just a phone call away’… will help alleviate potential tensions.
Step 4 - The Guest List
There’s often pressure to invite people you’d rather not.
If you really want to keep it to A-list only, approach the issue head on and let people know that you’re limited by cost, venue size, height… whatever you have to say to convince everyone its not them, it’s you.
“We planned our wedding to be an extension of our home and only wanted our closest humans to attend, rejecting all pressure to include family and “friends” that we hadn’t spent time with in a long time.”
Step 5 - Where’s it at?
For most couples, it’s now time to figure out your venue.
Choosing a location that reflects your vibe is crucial... and don’t forget to think outside the box; literally nothing is off-limits.
There’s gardens, rivers, beaches, hilltops, homes, pubs, restaurants, and of course; reception centres, all with the ability to host your wedding.
My only tip is to think about the season you’ll be holding the event.
You’ll need to picture what it’ll be like in March when you’re seeing it in July.
Step 6 - The ceremony
I know I’m a celebrant, so I’m biased…but if you want to argue that we don’t hold the majority of cards in making or breaking your ceremony, then I’m all ears.
But it’s your shout while I sit and listen!
A celebrant can be over or understated, charismatic, boring, funny, solemn, wise, nurturing, confident… you get what I’m saying.
They could be your everything or just a necessary step to ensuring it’s legal.
Choosing the right person to marry you can’t be an easy process: there’s like 9000 of us in Australia alone.
But a quick look at someone’s website, socials and video action is going to give you a fair idea of their style.
My suggestion is to pick someone who will listen to who you are, and what you want, someone that can tell your story but even better than you.
Someone that fits in with the rest of the vibe of the day, because once they’re up the front, mic in hand, there’s no turning back!
“We learnt from experience that too many people involved with our bucks caused too much confusion, over complication and started steering away from what we wanted. By keeping it unfussy and less people involved, it made the wedding less stressful.
With the bucks, it was hard to decide what to do as we didn’t want to have one together (as our friends suggested). But having separate ones on the same night meant we had to split our shared friends! Some said they wanted to attend both (Ya can’t!). But in the end, each group was happy to either make candles with partially naked buff guys, or badly sketch penises in life drawing!”
Step 7 - Vendors (the pros that’ll make your dreams come true)
Do you want a professional photographer(s) and if so, are you up for posing or would you prefer to not even know they’re there?
Do you want video?
Flowers? Music? DJ’s? Bonbonnieres?
So many decisions I know... but take them one at a time and do as much online research as possible before meeting any.
It saves everyone time!
Step 8 - The party
Now when I say party; that could literally be just you two and a nice meal… or a bottle of something special in a romantic get-away.
I’ve had plenty of clients choose to keep it intimate and you get nothing but admiration from me.
But if you sit closer to the ‘big shindig’ end of things, don’t get pressured into following the path of least resistance, if that’s not for you.
I’ve had clients celebrate on rooftops, in cinema foyers, at scout camps, on boats, on farms, at museums, out of town or at home.
The way you follow-up the nuptials is totally up to you.
You might very well get people complaining at the idea of a certain dress-code of a special theme but stick to your guns if they’re important to you.
People will understand and love it in the end!
“I think seeing the things I, and we, personally made for our wedding and having friends and family offer to perform for us, sticking to our Halloween circus theme was amazing. I don’t think anyone else would have had a wedding quite like ours.”
So that’s it! Super-simple right?!
I realise it’s all so much easier said than done, but as like to remind all my clients; this is YOUR day, YOUR money (usually) and you can do whatever YOU choose!
After all, Tradition is just pressure from dead people!
Klara McMurray - aka The Funky Celebrant, is a Melbourne based wedding celebrant and you can find her on the Mr Theodore directory.
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