Let’s Talk About Wedding Ceremonies With Celebrant Hailey
Celebrant Hailey pictured here mid ceremony of Phillip & Josh.
Photo By: Emily Howlett.
For over 2 years, Hailey has been delivering personal wedding ceremonies bursting with both heart and soul.
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A wedding ceremony that truly reflects you as a couple is one thing that really makes your wedding stand out from the others and leaves you with the fondest memories of the most special day of your life.
We speak with Hailey about why a personalised wedding ceremony is important and how to go about creating a wedding ceremony that is truly reflective of you.
A lot more goes into a wedding ceremony than just the 'legalities' (vows and signing). What really goes into a wedding ceremony?
It's so much more than just the legal part of your day. Sure; everyone loves the food and free-flowing drinks, but really, witnessing a couple share their promises in a raw and honest way is why guests have dolled up and made an effort to come and celebrate. They want to feel all the feels and walk away having a sense of who the couple is and why they've chosen to share their life with their mate, and as a couple, you want to walk away having truly experienced a special moment for the two of you.
Most couples are surprised to learn that on the big day they only have to state the legal vows, have the monitum recited and sign the marriage certificates to have them legally wed. The rest of the ceremony can and should be tailored to create exactly the vibe that represents who the couple are and the way they want their love celebrated.
Describe to us the process of creating a wedding ceremony for your couples.
That process begins with the first contact the couple make with me, there's generally an email or two before we meet for the first time. The initial meet-up is usually at a cute bar or café where we decide if we are a good fit for each other - it's a little like speed dating.
Once the decision has been made to work together, I send my handbook, filled with ideas and suggestions for inclusions so that when we meet again to complete the NOIM, the couple have a good idea about what a traditional wedding ceremony looks like. They've had the opportunity to discuss what parts of the ceremony they'd like to keep and those they'd like to remove.
We talk through all of the options, and I complete a checklist to be able to reference later. The couple then receives a questionnaire to complete individually.
From my interaction with the couple, the information they have provided through our meetings and their completed questionnaires, I can gain a really good insight into who they are and what their relationship and marriage really means to them.
From there I will put together the ceremony, I send a draft outline of the script – really just a structural overview to the couple (all the juicy bits that bring the tears and the lols the couple will hear for the first time on the day). We then generally meet for either a rehearsal or a catch up prior to the big day to run through what the ceremony will entail and tie up any loose ends and then it's game ready!
What kind of things do you cover and how do you dig up stories from the couple to include in your ceremony?
I will go through all the legal requirements and the process we will follow to get the couple married and then it's all about asking them if they have a clear vision for their ceremony.
In most cases, people have a vague idea about what they do like, and a good idea about what they don't so we start from there.
In terms of digging up the good stuff, I take a very casual and relaxed approach to information gathering. I really enjoy getting to know my couples and learning who they truly are. Being a good talker and a good listener makes it easier to build rapport and get to know them on a much deeper level. It's through that genuine interaction that I am able to gather loads of juicy content I can use to really personalise their ceremony.
What are some tips you can give our readers on how to really make a wedding uniquely you?
Bring your own personality to the ceremony, the whole day should be uniquely you! If you share a passion or belief for something make sure that's enjoyed and celebrated by all, consider involving other people – have people share a special memory or story about the two of you during the ceremony. Whatever you do, make sure the day truly reflects who you are, and it will be a day you and your guests will remember forever.
What are some things you recommended to make a wedding ceremony really personal?
Be honest and open with your questionnaire answers, tell me about funny and meaningful moments so I can share these on the day. If you want to involve some of your nearest and dearest look for unique ways to do this – your Nanna can be your flower girl, your fur babies can walk you down the aisle or be your ring bearers, you could surprise your partner with a poem or a song.
Rituals and readings can be a really beautiful way to pay homage to your cultural heritage.
Personally, what traditions have you seen incorporated into a wedding ceremony that you've felt has made it just that little bit extra special?
I want to start this off by saying if you're a traditionalist then more power to you! If you're not then only include the traditional elements that give you the feels - the elements that make 'you' feel them…. not the elements that you know will make Aunt Martha or your Mother-In-Law happy – you see where I'm going with this?
Including a ritual or tradition that resonates with you can add so much emotion and meaning to the day, so be true to you and remember most traditions can be modernised to align with today's views and beliefs. For example, if you're not interested in the patriarchal idea of being given away; why not enter with your partner and walk down the aisle together or walk yourself in like the kween that you are!
I have had couples pull their witnesses names from hats right before the signing of the certificates, couples include handfasting rituals using their clan tartan sent from Scotland, couples carry out the Greek crowning.
All have been super special and added immense meaning to their day because it has been a reflection of who they are as people.
Let's talk about tears and laughter. How important is it to have a good mix of emotions in a wedding ceremony?
Oh, I'm all about the mixed feels. Your ceremony should have you, your guests and even sometimes me shedding a happy tear and letting out big belly laughs.
Why have your guests simply there to watch you two tie the knot when you can have them wholly present, engaged and feeling like they are a part of something really special. Tears, laughter and celebration are all things I encourage your guests to get on board with before the ceremony begins – it's all about creating a space where people feel safe to let their vulnerability show. And what better moment than sharing in the love of two people!
What are some alternative ways you've seen a wedding ceremony take place?
I had a couple recently ask to have their closest people contacted to share more of an insight with me about their personalities and their relationship. The replies I received were insightful, filled with love and many a funny story about the pair.
Between our meetings, the couple's questionnaire answers and the replies I received from their loved ones, it was very clear that family and close friends were central to the couple's lives.
It occurred to me that I could incorporate their memories into my script, or I could surprise the couple with their nearest and dearest speaking the words themselves. I contacted the people involved (both of their mums were on the list, so I knew if they thought It wasn't a good idea, they would say so). I was able to edit what they had each shared to ensure the ceremony flowed and maintained that equal balance of happy tears and incredibly heartfelt moments.
Give us your number 1 piece of wedding planning advice?
Lock in a wedding planning date night complete with wine and cheese and make it a fun idea-sharing event, not a task.
In preparation for your planning date night, have each partner independently create a vision board/wish list for what you would love the day to be. Go big here; put down everything you've dreamed up knowing, in reality, all of your ideas won't make the final cut.
When date night rolls around have a piece of butcher's paper with three columns YES | NO | MAYBE .
If you have both included the same thing on your vision board/wish list then it goes into the YES column.
If you like something that the other person has suggested it goes into the YES column, and if you absolutely hate something on each other's board it goes into the NO column - remembering there are always different ways of doing things. If you've got your heart set on something and your partner insists it belongs in the NO column, talk to each other about how you can compromise.
Most importantly have fun collaborating with your mate, this is the first of many significant events and decisions you will make together. Remember the wedding won't define you as a couple, so try not to put too much pressure on yourselves to create something perfect.
Make it a day that has you both smiling with fond memories whenever you're reminiscing.
Celebrate With Hailey is part of the Mr Theodore family and can be viewed on the directory by clicking HERE.
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