In Conversation with Married by Leah
For Leah of Married By Leah, being a celebrant is a seamless blend of her background in television production, a deep appreciation for storytelling, and a love for creating unforgettable moments. With over seven years of experience, she brings warmth, flexibility, and an intuitive understanding of each couple’s special dynamic, ensuring their ceremony reflects them in the most authentic way.
Photo By Maple and June Photography
“…The aim of a ceremony is to take people on a journey. I want them to start with feeling the anticipation and excitement, then the emotional weight of the day with the entrance. I want them to reminisce as I take the guests down memory lane...”
What drew you to becoming a celebrant, and how has your journey shaped your approach to wedding ceremonies?
What drew me to becoming a celebrant was a love for working behind the scenes creating something for people to then see and enjoy. At the time of becoming a celebrant, I was a bridesmaid three times and was working in television production. Not only did I love playing a part in someone’s wedding but I could see how transferable my production skills were to being a celebrant. I was also working with a producer at the time who made TV Monday to Thursday and married couples Friday to Sunday so I thought, “well if she can, why can’t I”?!
Over the last 7 years my approach to ceremonies hasn’t changed - my goal is to learn something new each time and be inspired by their differences - whether that’s a difference to my way of thinking or a difference from past couples.
Your ceremonies are known for being warm, engaging, and personalised. How do you ensure each couple’s love story is reflected in their ceremony?
Well, actually, not every couple wants their love story reflected in their ceremony. In my 7+ years of experience, I met a wide variety of couples. Some want the whole thing retold and others can’t stand the idea. So I ensure that I create and execute a ceremony that each couple wants by understanding what is important to the two of them and what suits their personalities. For couples that do want their love story reflected, the first question is how much, and then we go from there. But basically the majority of the ceremony is a couple’s love story….so without it, it’s pretty much just a legal ceremony!
What’s your process for getting to know your couples and crafting a ceremony that feels truly “them”?
Firstly, it's listening in our first discovery call to understand what it is that is important to them. I then spend time with them - maybe having brunch or lunch etc - mostly observing their body language and personalities. I go through a lot of ideas and options with them and note down all the elements they want to incorporate. I have a questionnaire that is designed to tell me what the true magic is between them. I want to understand what their relationship has taught them thus far, what their milestones are and what marriage is to them….(just to name a few). I ask my couples to complete the questionnaire separately so that their answers are authentic and not edited for the other person to read. I love that I get two versions of the same story or what their first impressions of each other were. Sometimes this is a surprise to an individual! It doesn’t always happen but sometimes one half of the couple will give me extra info - usually around the proposal - like, “my partner knows this version of the story but what they don’t know is that THIS was supposed to happen”. I think getting insight into this internal monologue is so precious. It can add so much weight to a ceremony. All of these elements and material put together assist me in creating a ceremony that truly reflects them.
Are there any standout weddings or moments that have deeply resonated with you?
Of course! Besides being able to marry my little sister, three cousins and many close friends, there’s been two or three that stand out. One was with the biggest crowd I had ever performed to in the Modern Art Gallery of NSW. It was for a mature same-sex couple who were art lovers and the guests were incredible. The second one was for a friend of my partners. I had never met the couple as they lived in Grafton but they had been a part of my partners friendship group in the decades before I arrived on the scene. Now these two were just….mischief and cheeky in nature, so naturally the material that they provided was pure comedic gold. From a performance angle, it was my best ceremony, I had everyone laughing from start to end…..but I have to point out here that that was purely because of the material the couple gave to me. I’ve not yet met a couple quite like them before or since.
In terms of moments that resonate, it’s either vows or how a crowd reacts to a ceremony that sticks with me. I know I’ve made people feel things when they approach me after and either thank me or compliment the ceremony. And if I am hiding behind the arbour during the vows, I am definitely tearing up listening to the vows!
How do you strike the perfect balance between heartfelt and lighthearted in your ceremonies?
The balance is in how I write light and shade into my ceremony. The aim of a ceremony is to take people on a journey. I want them to start with feeling the anticipation and excitement, then the emotional weight of the day with the entrance. I want them to reminisce as I take the guests down memory lane. In here I usually add some humour into it to remind them of that one time something happened. Then I want the guests to feel pride and joy for this couple as I move through their milestones and achievements. I want to move the guests with emotion when describing the love between the two individuals. This is usually balanced out with humour about quirks or something along those lines. Finally I like to have everyone smiling at the end of the love story and eager to hear the couple’s vows. Whilst it's important to have humour in a ceremony, I definitely know when it’s too much. Striking that balance between heartfelt and lightheartedness is the actual magic of a ceremony.
What advice do you give to couples who feel nervous about standing in front of their guests?
Breathe! Breathe from the diaphragm. When you breathe deeply, it slows your whole nervous system down. But, I totally get that that doesn't work for some people. If I know my couple are nervous about people looking at them, I protect them. I spend most of the ceremony to one side of the bridal party. This is so I can direct the eyeballs away from the couple and to me. Not because I love the attention, quite the opposite actually, but I do it so that my couple have time to get used to standing at the front with each other without people staring directly at them. By the time we’re at the vow exchange moment, my nervous couple have usually calmed their nerves and are ready to exchange their vows. I’ve never had a client say, “no I can’t do it”....not yet anyway!
The other thing I remind them is everyone they love is in the room or at the ceremony. It’s their community so they will love you no matter how many tears you cry or if you misread a line. Remember, everyone at your wedding is there for you!
How would you describe your style as a celebrant, and what do you hope couples take away from their experience with you?
My style is relaxed, flexible and fun - full of guidance and ideas. I hope that my couples have a joyous experience with me, and know that I have their back at all times, that I am just an extension of their heart and minds…and I am ready to party with them when the time arrives!
What’s the most rewarding part of being a wedding celebrant?
Oh gosh, where do I start? Being a part of a very important day in someone’s life? Being able to help people, I would say.
Visit www.marriedbyleah.com.au
Instagram @married_by_leah
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