Alida and Erin: A Celebration of Queer Love in St. Louis

When Alida and Erin finally connected on a dating app in 2022—after a few missed swipes and one bold second shot—they quickly made up for lost time, moving in together just six months later. Their wedding day, set in the city where they built their life together, was a heartfelt celebration of queer joy, chosen family, and the kind of love that finds humour even in shared bouts of COVID. From a disco dive-bar welcome party to an afterparty at Pin-Up Bowl, every moment reflected their unapologetically authentic, deeply intentional bond.

Photographer Courtney Lee | Location St. Louis, USA

“…But somehow we had so much fun being sick together. That’s when I knew I wanted to be in this for the long haul.”

How and when did you meet?*

Alida: We met in 2022 on the ever-classic dating apps. After several months of back and forth, where I swiped right and Erin didn’t see it, then Erin reached out and I ignored her–we finally connected when Erin shamelessly shot a second shot. I’ve been benefiting from Erin’s boldness ever since. We moved in together after six months, like good uhauling gays, and now live with our two cats in an 1880s row house in St. Louis, Missouri.

Tell us a little about that first time you met…

Alida: We met over drinks on a sunny spring afternoon, the day after Erin finished her second year of law school. I was immediately smitten; Erin just thought it was a nice date. After dodging Erin’s invitation to extend drinks into dinner, I went home to PANIC about the big feelings I was having. However, I managed to pull it together enough to schedule a second date before leaving, and Erin remained blissfully unaware.

Tell us about the standout moments in your relationship…

Erin: A few weeks after moving in together, we were lying in bed with COVID, which we’d caught at a friend’s wedding. We were so achey that we couldn’t even watch TV - sniffly and feverish and just generally disgusting. But somehow we had so much fun being sick together. That’s when I knew I wanted to be in this for the long haul.

What does marriage mean to you?

Alida and Erin: Trust, commitment, love, safety, care.

Who proposed and how?

Alida and Erin: We mutually proposed! There was no surprise at all. We’d already looked at and purchased rings together during a trip to San Francisco. So we scheduled dinner at a nice restaurant back in St. Louis, wrote and read each other letters, cried, and exchanged rings. That night we’d planned to stay at a boutique hotel in St. Louis that we were considering for our wedding block, but the place turned out to be a complete disaster (the hotel has since closed). So we laughed, went home, and spent the rest of the evening hanging out in the comfort of our own bed with our cats. It was the perfect mix of planned, unexpected, sentimental, and totally silly.

When did you get married?

June 1, 2024.

What was the main influence behind your wedding day?

Alida and Erin: While neither of us are from St. Louis, we decided to get married in the city because it’s where we met and have made our home. Many of our friends and family had never been to St. Louis before the wedding, so it was fun to show off a city that often gets overlooked. We chose Hidden Gem, a self-proclaimed “disco dive-bar” in midtown with hot pink walls and 300 disco balls, as the location for our Welcome Party, with Bosnian food from Balkan Treat Box. We knew the funky location would set the tone for the weekend and loved that the food was a nod to the years Erin’s family spent living in the Balkans. For our wedding day, we originally wanted to rent out a restaurant to prioritise great food, but when Alida couldn’t bear to pare down her guest list, we started looking for restaurants with event spaces. Casey, the event coordinator at Olive + Oak, made our choice easy. Olive + Oak is known in St. Louis for having great food and, importantly for a number of our guests, being allergen-friendly. We loved that the chef was able to craft a seasonal menu that was both delicious and safe for everyone in attendance (no small feat). We ended the night with an afterparty at Pin-Up Bowl, which was the very first idea Erin threw out when we started wedding planning. Had we ever been bowling together? No, but it sounded like a fun way to cap off the night. It wasn’t until about a month before the wedding that Alida learned Erin doesn’t even like bowling! Nonetheless, watching our guests bowl in formal wear was definitely a highlight of the weekend. And Erin didn’t have to throw a single bowling ball.

What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding? 

Alida: It was especially important to Erin that it felt like we were choosing each other on our wedding day rather than having someone marry us. We chose to collaboratively write vows and to privately write personal reflections, which we read together in front of our family and friends without an officiant. We each got in at least one good joke, and for Erin, a lot of tears from me. It also felt important that we celebrate not just our love for one another, but the fact that this was a queer wedding. We chose to get married on the first day of Pride month, used queer vendors where possible, and created a donation-based registry that included local LGBTQ causes. While I don’t think anyone caught it on camera, there was a short rainstorm during dinner that culminated in a full rainbow outside the venue. Having our wedding day looked-upon by a rainbow, on the first day of Pride month, felt like some sort of gay blessing in a world that isn’t always ready to celebrate queer love.

How did you choose your suppliers?

Alida and Erin: Since neither of us were especially interested in the minutiae of wedding planning, there were only two things we looked for in a vendor: 1) Do we click with this person, and 2) Do we trust that they’ll be able to just do their thing. And luckily for us, that generally worked out! Some standouts from our vendors were: Courtney Lee Photography - Courtney is an editorial and documentary style photographer, with a background in film, who really understands how to use light and movement. I cannot sing her praises highly enough – she made us comfortable one-on-one in order to take great portraits, while blending in effortlessly in a group to do her documentary-style work. She fit in so well that a number of guests asked if she was a friend from college! Our florist, Flowers and Weeds, also blew us away with their work. We gave about four keywords, left them alone, and they delivered above and beyond any of our expectations. And last but not least, we would not have been able to pull the whole thing off without our planner, Charley Coldon. She made sure every “i” was dotted and “t” was crossed, and if there were any fires that weekend, she took care of them so quickly that we never found out.

What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?

Alida and Erin: Trying to anticipate and take care of everyone’s needs.

Where did you spend your honeymoon?

Alida: We knew we would be so exhausted by the end of the weekend that we held off on the honeymoon and instead planned four nights at a resort in Sedona immediately following the wedding. We slept in, lay by the pool, and barely left the hotel grounds. It was exactly what we needed. We’re currently planning a honeymoon in the Balkans, Germany, France, and Switzerland - all places Erin lived growing up.

Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?

Alida and Erin: Alida wanted to elope. Erin wanted a small wedding. We somehow ended up with a mid-sized wedding. We both doubted it, but there really was something special about having everyone we loved in the same room. From a practical standpoint - working with our photographer, Courtney Lee, ahead of time made a huge difference. Earlier in the spring we spent a few hours together at Hidden Gem, the bar where we planned to host our welcome party. We had so many incredible shots from that day that we barely spent any time taking wedding portraits the day of our ceremony. Our outfits may have been slightly different, but knowing we already had amazing shots allowed us to prioritise our time with guests, avoid photography fatigue, and sleep in a little later on Saturday morning.

Alida and Erin’s Team

Photographer Courtney Lee

Planning The Coda’s Collective

Floral Flowers and Weeds

Venue Olive + Oak

Hire and Rentals Seated

Makeup and Hair Bewitching Beauty Events

Catering and Beverages Olive + Oak

Cake Hank’s Cheesecake

Entertainment DJ Jillian

Erin's Dresses  Saks Brand

Jumpsuit Custom by Winnie at The Enchanted Bride St. Louis

Veils Madison Chamberlain

Alida’s Earrings AGMES

Erin's Outfit Change Alice + Olivia Shorts, Bustier by Fleur du Mal, and Nike Air Force 1’s

Alida's Outfit Change Sequin pants by Sezane, top by Alice +Olivia, and shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Erin's Wedding Ring Artemer

Alida's Wedding Rings Jennifer Dawes

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