Valentijn and Kasper: A Tuscan Celebration
From chance meetings on the streets of Amsterdam which evenutally lead to a “hello” on Grindr, to a joyful “I do” under the Tuscan sun, Valentijn and Kasper’s love story is one of serendipity, laughter, and deep devotion. Eleven years to the day after their first date, they gathered loved ones for a weekend that perfectly blended classic elegance with modern charm, every detail a heartfelt reflection of who they are together. Their wedding was not just a celebration of their bond, but a vibrant testament to love, community, and the beauty of being unapologetically true to yourself.
“Early on, Valentijn insisted he’d be the one to propose because he was sure he’d do it better than I would, and although it took a while, he was right…”
How and when did you meet?
V & K: We lived just two streets apart in Amsterdam and had been bumping into each other for a while, at the supermarket, the local bike repair shop, those innocent, and awkward moments. Eventually, we started chatting on Grindr, where it became clear we were both looking for something serious.
Tell us a little about that first time you met…
K: Our first date came after six months of chatting, busy summers kept us apart until Saturday, August 31, 2013. We went to the cinema, followed by drinks, and when Valentijn learned that I had never been to a gay club, he took me there straight away. We kissed on the dancefloor, went home together, and went for breakfast the next morning. After about 30 minutes apart, we were back together, watching Marley and Me (a must-watch for dog lovers) and fell asleep side by side. We married exactly 11 years after that, on Saturday, August 31st 2024.
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
V: His fierce light blue eyes with dark lashes and eyebrows. And his overwhelming, almost childlike smile. You can easily see Kasper is a good person. I still wake up happy seeing this face.
K: Valentijn was chewing gum very visibly when he biked towards me as I waited at a crossing on the way to the cinema. It was part of his “cool guy” act or - so he thought. Very soon after, I realized he was the sweetest guy.
Tell us about the standout moments in your relationship…
V: We like being together a lot. Having dinner at a new restaurant, seeing a show or film. Or simply hanging out on the couch at home. But my most favourite and romantic moments are sitting beside Kasper when he is driving our car (since I still don’t have a driver’s license…). We hold hands and sing together.
K: He’s the one person I feel totally comfortable with. We’re both passionate and outspoken, which means we argue intensely but also make up just as quickly. We balance each other perfectly, each needing a strong partner beside us. We never go to bed without resolving an argument. Another silly example that stands out: we send each other a photo of the Rijksmuseum building every time we pass it without each other.
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?
V & K: Luckily both our families and friends are nothing but accepting. In a big city like Amsterdam, we expect nothing less, even though violence is increasing. Many of us in the community have learned to be cautious, always reading the room and staying alert. While this sensitivity isn’t always negative, it has certainly helped us professionally, it’s a sobering reminder of ongoing challenges.
What does marriage mean to you?
V: For me, it’s very simple. The fact that I said yes to Kasper means that I want to spend my entire life with him. I chose him as my number one. The one I will stay with until one of us dies. I am not a hopeless romantic, but I do hope we will get to stay together for a very long time.
K: For us, marriage is both a natural next step with your life partner and a quiet act of protest. I wear this ring with pride. Our celebrant at our little legal marriage at Hotel de L’Europe in Amsterdam phrased it perfectly: in the Netherlands we tend to forget that same-sex marriage is an acquired right that is fought for long and hard. Each marriage, though seemingly a small part of the statistics, is vital in protecting that equal right.
Who proposed, and how?
K: Early on, Valentijn insisted he’d be the one to propose because he was sure he’d do it better than I would, and although it took a while, he was right.
V: I proposed in Paris. We had already planned a weekend there as the final stop of a holiday in France. A few months before, I decided it would be the perfect moment to propose. I contacted a colleague who is also a photographer, who agreed to follow us around Paris as a “paparazzo.” He captured us exploring the city, strolling through parks, visiting the Louvre, and walking past the Eiffel Tower. At the end of the day, I proposed on the corner of the large pond in Jardin du Luxembourg.
K: Afterward, Valentijn revealed that we’d been followed all day and we were now about to meet the photographer near the Arc de Triomph. Once arrived at a random courtyard of a hotel, both our parents were sitting there alongside the photographer, waiting with a bottle of champagne to celebrate this special moment. It was the perfect ending to an unforgettable day.
When did you get married?
V & K: August, 31st 2024 in sunny and extremely hot Tuscany. It was a beautiful weekend full of love, shared with each other and everyone we hold dear.
What was the main influence behind your wedding day?
V & K: We wanted this weekend to be a reflection of who we are and the people we have gathered around us. It had to be an escape from the hustle of everyday life.
In terms of style our vision combined classic elegance with a modern twist. Simple yet well thought through. No detail left untouched. Dark green and yellow white stripes complemented the classic colours of the Tuscan hills, while white flowers, arranged like they’d just arrived from the shop, added simplicity and charm. Our colourful guest dress code completed this look even better than we imagined. In reality it all simply was a dream. It was everything we hoped for and more, a seamless blend of heartfelt moments and joyous surprises.
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
V & K: Love and kindness. We wanted a relaxed yet elegant atmosphere, where everyone felt like their best selves. And we wanted it to be a celebration of love and friendship. Our opening speech summed it up: we’re not just married to each other but also, in a way, to everyone we love.
Also, music was important to us. We made 4 playlists for specific moments throughout the weekend. From the welcome evening to the pool day. For the ceremony, we knew we wanted people to get in a certain zone. We used a medley of Sound of Music songs and even we could ring the bell of the little chapel on the grounds for people to get seated. When we walked down the aisle someone sung The Rainbow Connection – a super sweet and emotional love song. It was just perfect. For the entrance at dinner we used the bombastic Wedding march from wedding march mendelssohn. Both moments were truly authentic and impressive.
The goal was for the whole experience to be intimate, personal, and unforgettable, not just for us, but for our guests. The greatest compliment was hearing that every detail felt authentically us.
Did you incorporate any family sentiments or traditions?
K: The ceremony was our most intimate moment, rooted in Dutch tradition with personalised touches. Our witnesses and parents gave sincere speeches making it quite long (almost 2 hours), even in the 35-degree heat. We love how it played out. We asked our mums to walk us down the aisle, surprising them with bouquets beforehand. It made them feel extra special.
V: As my father passed away 22 years ago, for my mum the whole happening made her miss her late husband. Therefore we dedicated Perhaps Love by John Denver – sung live by one of our wedding guests - to the love we both have received from our parents. It was a beautiful quiet moment for us to remember the love we have received and for others to think about (lost) loved ones in their life.
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
V & K: Everything we did was well thought through and based on the experience our guests would have. From taxi pick-up overviews, to goodie bags, a who’s who booklet to a welcome roast. We wanted everyone to feel connected, to be indulged and have the best time. The inspiration truly was a collaboration of great minds and having a clear sense of our own style.
How did you choose your suppliers?
V & K: We prioritised finding people who were kind, responsive, and enjoyable to work with. They play such an important role in your wedding weekend and I’m convinced that a positive relationship will make it even more special. Make sure you feel at ease with them, have a laugh. From our wedding planners to our caterers, every vendor understood our vision and worked seamlessly as a team.
On the wedding day, it felt like a little beehive where everyone knew which role to play. A big shoutout to everyone we have been in touch with in this process, from florist to the housekeepers at Borgo Sant’Ambrogio. They really added to the feeling we still have about our weekend and it stresses the importance of kindness all year through.
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
V & K: The hardest part was to stop organising. There were always new ideas popping up and it’s easy to get in the endless cycle of tweaking and improving. The whole process felt amazing and greatly supported by the wedding planning team Josh and Steph and the other vendors we have been in touch with. It truly felt like a warm bath working with them.
Where did you spend your honeymoon?
K: We stayed in Italy before and after the wedding, then headed to Salzburg, Austria. Given the Sound of Music theme in our ceremony, visiting the movie’s iconic locations felt perfect. As surprise to me, our final night was spent in a suite at Schloss Leopoldskron, where some of the film’s garden scenes were shot. Valentijn couldn’t be happier.
Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?
V & K: Be clear on what you want, have a vision and stay true to that. Take the lead in parts you are very clear on and be led on aspects you feel others can lead better. We wanted to change seats after the 2nd course of dinner, to mix things up. As our fantastic caterer had high standards, they got nervous how that would play out with cutlery and glassware. We persisted and they made it work. Dare to make bold moves: make fewer big gestures over more small ones. Most importantly, create a celebration that reflects who you are as a couple. Guests will love it because it’s authentically you.
Valentijn and Kasper’s Team
Photographer Tous LesJours
Videographer 11 Shots Media
Planner Josh Tully Management
Venue Borgo Sant’Ambrogio
Florist Funky Bird Firenze
Audio and AV Namida Elegant Events
Catering and Rentals Delizia Ricevimenti
Entertainment Diva May Day
Suits Suit Supply
More For You
