Ante and Tim: It Started on a Crisp Melbourne Night
An invitation to a dinner party is where it all started for Ante and Tim. “It was a crisp Melbourne night many years ago,” says Ante. Both gents distinctively remember the first time they laid eyes on each other, and as they say, the rest is history.
Photographer Odd Socks Society | Venue 73 Cromwell
-
Tell us a little about the first time you met?
Ante: On a crisp Melbourne night many years ago, Tim’s then-housemate invited me to a dinner party. My mother rightly taught me never to turn up at someone’s house empty-handed. So that night, two bottles of mid-range red wine and I made the journey to Brunswick West and the rest is history.
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
Tim: I was pouring a drink for a friend on the other side of the room when Ante walked in. He was a slim, fancy-looking man in a jumper with a cute poodle sewn on to it. I remember being impressed that someone had gone to the trouble of customising a jumper in the first place.
Ante: I noticed Tim right away. His bright blue eyes in particular. Even from the other side of the room. There was a twinkle there, a cheekiness even. He had a really infectious smile, and his laugh was so distinctive.
Tim: There was a pretty strong connection almost immediately. It was a late night.
Give us an insight into any standout moments in your relationship?
Ante: We’re so grateful for the life we’ve created together in the last 10 year and proud to be part of families and friendships that embrace and support us the way we do one another.
Tim: Seeing our family grow is so important to us. We’ve been part of our nieces’ and nephews’ lives from day one. To those special little people, we are just Uncle Ant and Tim (or Ujo Ante and Tim on the Croatian side!).
Ante: We’ve lost count of how many cities and countries we’ve visited together. From our first trip to Lorne to a month-long cross-country road-trip across the US, seeing the world is so much more enjoyable when we’re in one another’s company.
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?
Tim: Shortly after we got together, we were holding hands and walking through one of the inner suburbs of Melbourne. A guy driving a ute slowed down and out of the window told us that we were “disgusting” and in a “family neighbourhood”. That always stood out as a pretty defining experience. On our wedding day when we were out getting some photos before the ceremony, a guy driving a ute through the same neighboured slowed down and out of the window told us that we looked great and he hoped we had an amazing day. That turnaround shouldn’t have taken 10 years, but it definitely represented something pretty important to us.
What does marriage mean to you?
Ante: I love the way Tim and I go down a rabbit hole of quotes, jokes, and quips. I could spend forever there. I know that together, there will always be laughing, whether it’s with hysterical tears in our eyes or just a chuckle and an old joke.
Tim: It’s the opportunity to spend my life with Ante – someone whose vibrancy, creativity, selflessness and compassion is the greatest gift that me, and everyone who is lucky enough to be part of his life, will ever receive.
Who proposed, and how?
Tim: One of the only old-fashioned elements we incorporated was speaking to our respective parents. They are such an important part of our lives, so we wanted them to be the first to know we were planning on taking the plunge into married life. Both sides were just so happy.
Ante: Then we set off on a dream trip to the Philippines, where, rings in pocket, we made it official atop a mountain at sunset surrounded by shimmering blue water. We were off the grid for nearly five days in paradise after that so really got to bask in that fresh fiancé feeling.
When did you get married?
Tim: We got married exactly 10 years to the day after we first got together. It worked out well because Ante didn’t want to remember another date and mid-November is a perfect time of year in Melbourne too.
Ante: Our engagement was about a year and a half, and in the end, we’re glad it was. It gave us time to really think about the day, what we wanted and what it meant. Then Saturday, 16 November rolled around and the whole day felt like a dream.
What was the primary influence behind your wedding day?
Tim: Honestly, we planned a celebration. When we’re combining a wedding and a 10th anniversary as well as bringing together the people who are most important to us from all over the world, throwing a massive party was the only choice!
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
Tim: It was a day 10 years in the making, and it felt like the perfect opportunity to thank our friends and family for being part of our lives. We wanted it to be just as special for them as it was for us.
Ante: Being able to do something that felt so momentous with Tim by my side was just a reminder of how lucky we are to have one another.
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
Ante: Our aesthetic taste is pretty similar. Give us some industrial elements, red bricks and exposed ceilings, and we’re there. Selecting a blank canvas venue that ticked those boxes meant we could incorporate a really strong theme throughout. We started early on with a colour scheme that was prominent as far back as the ‘save the dates’ and carried right through to the wedding cake. It was impossible to miss and we loved it.
Tim: I landed on ‘classy and colourful’ as the dress description for our guests, and they absolutely floored us with their creativity. I vividly remember walking down the aisle and seeing everyone for the first time and being overwhelmed by how vibrant and happy they all looked. Those few moments will stay with us forever.”
How did you choose your suppliers?
Ante: It all started with the magnificent Catie Di Paolo from Here Comes The Truck. We had a really specific vision, and Catie assembled an elite group of incredible people to bring it to life.
Tim: In my working life, I’ve learnt to rely on word of mouth recommendations, and we really applied that here too. From the planner to the celebrant, and the photographer, each was introduced to us by people who’d worked with them before. We wanted to partner with people who had good intentions and were so lucky to find that in spades.
Any standout suppliers?
Ante: So much of what was special and unique about our wedding comes down to the care, energy and attention that Catie, Pia and the team at Here Comes The Truck put into it. By the time the day rolled around, and nearly two years after we first got in touch, they felt like family.
Tim: Ante comes from a Croatian family which means an abundance of food and drink is a non-negotiable. I remember asking Catie if we were confident there’d be enough food, and without missing a beat, she said: “Tim, I’m Italian, there’ll be enough food”. She was right of course!
Nearly six months later and we’re still finding new favourite photos from the day. Storm and Xavier from Odd Socks Society made us feel so comfortable and helped us avoid photography clichés. Our six-year old niece Gertrude is still talking about being Storm’s assistant during our pre-ceremony shoot.
Did you find it difficult to translate more common traditions into a ‘same-sex’ wedding?
Ante: We wanted to cast off the shackles of tradition to a certain extent. That meant forgoing things like wedding parties, big cars and the usual alternating plate service. We had the ceremony and celebration in one venue so there was no need for people to shift from place to place. We planned the spaces so they could slowly be unveiled as the day went on, and they all had a different feel to them.”
Any surprises on your wedding day? Or anything that didn’t go to plan?
Tim: Everybody thought Ante would be the emotional one, but instead, it was absolutely me! I spent the better part of the ceremony crying happy tears as I realised how special everything that was happening around us really was.
Ante: Our married friends all told us to savour every moment and reminded us it’d all be over in a flash. I knew we had made the right choices when, from our little green room, we heard the ‘awwws’ as our nieces and nephew walked down the aisle with their giant classy and colourful balloons when the ceremony kicked off.
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
Tim: We live in Singapore! Planning the wedding from overseas was really challenging and definitely added a level of complexity to something that’s already pretty complicated. We relied heavily on email contact in particular and somehow made it work!
Ante: We only made it back to Melbourne three or four times between our engagement and the wedding day, which meant jam-packing our trips home. We’d get off the plane and roll straight into meetings with our patient and wonderful suppliers who would be waiting with a coffee and a smile as we dived into hours of decision-making.
Where did you spend your honeymoon?
Tim: A couple of days after the wedding, we made our way to Seattle and started a trip through the beautiful, wintery Pacific Northwest and down to the sunshine in California.
Ante: It was just the two of us, loved up and unpacking so many wonderful memories from the most special and important day of our lives. While eating doughnuts.
Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?
Ante: We’d often leave a bunch of emails red-flagged in our inboxes and wait until weekend afternoons to tackle them. Towards the end, we found we were sitting at opposite ends of the couch working through every element like zombies. Don’t do that! Keep talking, stay connected.
Tim: I’m a bit of a control freak, and honestly, one of the best pieces of advice I received was from my boss who, knowing me as well as she does said, “at some point, you just have to let go of the finer details”. She was right. Do everything you can to inject uniqueness into the event but don’t forget what you’re there for – to marry the person you love and relish in the company of the people who mean the most to you.
Suppliers
Photographer Odd Socks Society
Venue 73 Cromwell
Suits Rajawongse Clothier, Bangkok
Planner Catie Di Paolo
Flowers Thrive
Cake Sugarlace Cakes
Celebrant Kate Mac (Celebrant Kate)
Catering Here Comes The Truck
Graphic Design Robert Laiacona
More For You
