Ash and Ben: A Mitchelton Winery Soirée
After 13 years of being together, Ash and Ben chose to say their 'I Do' in a simple, yet oh-so picturesque Mitchelton Winery wedding. Guests enjoyed not just one day, but an entire weekend of festivities as Ash and Ben celebrated their love.
Photographer Tahnee Jade Photography | Venue Mitchelton Wines
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How and when did you meet? 2007 was our first date. Ash: We had known each other for around 12 months, engaging in small talk from time to time at Ben's cafe. I was working next door at the hair salon so I would go in for a morning to coffee, hoping to see Ben. I remember being annoyed if he wasn't there to make my coffee; parting with $3.5 for something I didn't even need because I had a coffee machine at work was a big deal on an apprentice salary! Ben and I first went out one night after work, it was April of 2007. We went to Lamaro's around the corner for a nice meal. The next morning I woke up at his place (which was above the cafe) thinking, what happened?! How do I get downstairs to go to work through a cafe full of people in the same clothes I had one since the day before. Ben came upstairs and brought me coffee and juice in bed. When I came downstairs to have breakfast (Ben's shout), I was greeted with a woman who had a beaming smile from ear to ear. Ben said 'Ash meet my best friend Kate', fair to say in that moment I died having not straightened my Justin Bieber hair and wearing a hot pink t-shirt. This was more than I bargained for.
Tell us a little about the first time you met? Ash: To paint a picture, I had a Justin Bieber haircut before he was even around, a perfectly straightened fringe with a couple of highlights (what was I thinking). I remember seeing Ben for the first time and watched the way he interacted with people in his cafe, always smiling and laughing. He knew every single customer on a first-name basis. We started with small talk in the early days over the counter, as I worked right next door. I remember going out the back of the salon into the driveway to see if his car was parked out front. If it was, I would wait until I saw him walk outside to say hello or I would go into the cafe to buy another coffee that I didn't really need just so I could say hi...again.
Any standout moments in your relationship? Ash: Ben and I have been very fortunate over the 13 years together. We have travelled to many exciting places such as Boracay, where I lost a commitment ring and Bali, where I lost my engagement ring - I like to think of it as leaving rings in special places of happiness, but Ben disagrees.
I guess a significant stand out moment was when we went through surrogacy here in Australia. Two very special women came forward in our lives with one offering to be an egg donor and another the surrogate. It was a wild ride that we went on for the 2 years and will forever be grateful to all involved who wanted nothing but the best for us. At the time it wasn't meant to be.
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance? Ash: The only thing I can really say, and a friend mentioned it in a speech at our wedding, is that it's so nice to finally be recognised as a married couple in Australia! We were asked many times before it was legal why we hadn't already got married, my response would always be "if I can't get married in the country I was born in, why would I go somewhere else?"
The Surrogacy process for same-sex males still has an element of non-acceptance. When you see other couples, including same-sex female, single female and heterosexual couples that go through infertility issues, most of them appear to get some sort of assistance. But for us same-sex males, we are very left out on our own with no help.
What does Marriage mean to you? Ash: Marriage to us means being a team that will support, love and bring out the best in each other, always want the best for us and our future and accepting that everything we do professionally is for us. It means continuing to grow as a couple and always allowing each other to push for new heights and explore any new possible ventures that may pop up.
Who proposed, and how? Ash: We have been engaged since August 2018 - it was in Santorini in a cliff restaurant overlooking the ocean. Ben pulled a red box out of his pocket and said: "I have present for you". I opened it, and it was a ring to which he asked me to marry him. In my mind, our engagement would have gone a little differently, but in reality, it happened in a way that was totally us; no fuss and nothing over the top... apart from being charged a weeks wage to eat in this venue. We enjoyed the moment, maybe touched each other's hand (which was plenty of PDA for us) then continued to enjoy the magical spot we were in.
When did you get married? Sunday, March 8th 2020.
What was the primary influence behind your wedding day? Ash: We wanted to create a special long weekend where our guests could come; not just for one day, but three days. We wanted to create memories for all with different events held on each day.
Ben and I wanted it to be relaxed, about everyone else and knowing all they had to do was show up and enjoy themselves.
Ben and I always wanted a destination wedding in the country!
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding Ash: I would say the most crucial thing surrounding our wedding was ensuring that from the time the first guest arrived on the big day that drinks were being served right away with live music to set the tone for what was to follow. We wanted our guests to either be enjoying a glass of bubbles, taking in the scenery, admiring the music, looking at the flowers or devouring the canapés that were being served.
Another important thing to Ben and I was that all our photos were done prior to the ceremony - if there is one thing I loved most about our day, it's that we were never removed from our guests, we were present and in the moment from start to finish.
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration? The bulk of the inspiration came from Mitchelton Winery - once we found the venue, everything else worked around it! The flowers we chose were to compliment the scenery, all green gums/eucalyptus with white roses and hydrangeas for a touch of colour.
We planned everything around the venue, to capture all the beauty and enhance it.
How did you choose your suppliers? Ash: With Ben working for a large hospitality business, he was able to arrange all acoustic players, DJ and a saxophone player through contacts. One of Ben's colleagues just so happened to design wedding invitations on the side which was brilliant as this meant I didn't have to search for someone.
As for our celebrant, photographer and florist. . . well we just became very VERY lucky to have come across these amazing woman!! It was by pure chance and the magic of social media. But, if there's one thing I will always remember, its how special they made the day by being so easy to work with.
Any standout suppliers?
Tahnee Jade Photography - It was like Tahnee was a guest at our wedding. Tahnee made Ben and I feel so comfortable throughout the day. I remember Ben saying "I am really enjoying this process of getting ready" while Tahnee was taking photos but never once felt like she was in the way. It was really amazing, Tahnee has captured some genuinely raw moments where a single photo tells a thousand words.
Flower Jar - Rhiannon could not have been a more amazing florist to work with. Planning wedding flowers I thought would be a challenge, but after one initial meeting with Flower Jar, I was hooked! They saw our vision and ran with it the whole way, nothing was too difficult. On the wedding day, everything fell into place, we got absolutely everything we asked for!
Celebrant Lady Love - Where do I start? Annie is a champion. You could not have asked for a more magical ceremony! I have lost count at the number of people who came forward after the wedding and said that was the best ceremony they had ever been to. Annie tells an excellent love story about the two of you that includes humour and really builds the guests up for an exciting moment. Everyone laughed and cried, it was the best.
MAPA Dance - We met Sarah with two left feet, unable to feel a beat, move our hips or turn around! We told Sarah we wanted a fully choreographed first dance to Bruno Mars, Marry You. Well, Sarah what a gem, and within 4 weeks we had learnt a routine, a routine that we wanted to make people laugh, be unexpected and memorable.
What was the most challenging thing about planning your wedding? Ash: To be honest, we didn't find anything difficult. With all our suppliers, we went off their vibe. We only got one quote for flowers because we knew we didn't need to ask anyone else. We booked our celebrant but didn't meet her until months later because we liked what we saw and trusted it would be ok. I guess you can say we didn't over complicate everything, we had a vision, we knew what we wanted and we didn't waste time.
Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey? Ash: Don't over complicate it! If something feels right, lock it in and tick it off the list. It's so easy to get overwhelmed, but as long as you have a vision and know exactly what you need, it will all come together. Oh and something will always go wrong, it always does; just embrace it and find a workaround because your guests won't know any different!
Suppliers
Photographer Tahnee Jade Photography
Venue Mitchelton Wines
Suits Formal Red
Flowers Flower Jar
Cake Cake Ink
Celebrant Celebrant Lady Love - Annie Molenaar
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