Jess and Clio: We Are More United Than Ever
Never in their wildest dreams could both Jess and Clio imagine winning their ‘Dream Wedding’.
The Equality Projekt, which was hosted by the team at Projekt 3488 in celebration of Marriage Equality, allowed couples in Australia to win their wedding, and saw Jess and Clio take the winning prize.
Their love (and wedding) story is truly beautiful and EXTREMELY inspiring. Jess and Clio tell us why a wedding is more than just a big party, and what it really means to ‘be married’. The two brides have already experienced so much in their first few months of marriage, but they say that it has only made them stronger than ever.
Venue Projekt 3488 | Photography Rick Liston
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“Since getting married we’ve already been through a lot… from starting a whole new job two days after the wedding, to having to deal with a heartbreaking family conflict, then making front page on The Age newspaper because we suffered the worst 48 hours of our lives; when we got stuck in the Corryong bushfires and had to escape via the convoy in catastrophic conditions. Needless to say, our vows could have been seriously tested already. But instead, what we may have originally believed was just going to be a great party, and a nice piece of paper to protect our rights, has been an incredible glue, bonding us even more than our 12 years of relationship, and 5 and half of being co-parents had. Getting married has sealed our union. We are more united than ever! Whether it is just a reminder of why we love our chosen partners, or whether there is really such a thing as ‘wedded bliss’ and something magical that happens when you make promises so openly to the one you love, but we recommend the Big Day to any secure and loving relationship out there. We will celebrate 12 years in June, and 1 year in December, we are incredibly lucky people.”
- Jess and Clio
How and when did you meet?
We met on Black Friday, 13th June 2008. We were both performing as Drag kings at the Glasshouse, for “King Victoria”.... well at least that’s how Jess remembers it, as there may have been a meeting before then, but Clio kept tight-lipped until after the “I love you’s” months later.
Jess had flown to Melbourne a few months earlier for a weekend just before her 25th birthday when she went to the Star Bar on Hoddle St after performing her drag act. Jess thought she remembered the night well... The only thing was Clio met Jess that night, and a few months later, she was very excited to see that both “Scott” and “Scratchy” were on the same poster... bringing us to 13th June, 2008.
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
Clio: I thought Jess had beautiful eyes… and a beautiful smile. Okay, she was definitely the hottest girl in the room!
Jess: That Clio was a cute, shy, tall drag king who looked a bit like a ‘nice guy’… definitely not my type.
Any standout moments in your relationship?
Jess: I was living in Nottingham in the north of England studying at University a few years after we first got together. We would Skype everyday, cook, play cyber cards, watch movies... but then when Clio came to visit me I was so excited to see her so I booked us a fancy BnB and dyed my hair blonde. I travelled all day to collect her in the south of England... when we saw each other, I thought it was perfect.
Though, the actual favourite memories shared was having our daughter and raising her together. We are both big on telling the other how great they are at mumming.
Clio: I was so sad to be turning 30, but the 2 weeks we spent together jamming all of Argentina in was very special. And yes, Jess is the most incredible mama to our girl. Being mum’s has changed everything, and instead of tearing us apart, as sometimes is the case with happy couples before kids, it bonded us together even more strongly.
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?
We don’t surround ourselves with people who don’t accept us. Although, since having Adia-Tuesday (who is 5 now) we’ve had quite a few people ask, “but who is the real mum?”, Jess usually stares them down and says, “both of us” and it’s hard to not feel a sense of sadness after those encounters.
When we travel, we’re always very cautious. There are some countries we don’t go to for fear we wouldn’t be accepted. Having Adia-Tuesday with us now, we are even more careful about that as her safety is paramount.
If we’re talking about being gay generally, then yes, we both have had incidents in our lives, some worse than others. We still find it challenging to go to a typical Aussie country pub where you can never be sure how old drunk men will receive a lesbian couple.
What does Marriage mean to you?
It means promising to each other to always make us a priority, and an equal half!
Who proposed and how?
Jess: Clio asked a couple of years earlier on our 5th anniversary. It was very romantic in hindsight; at the time, however, it didn’t go to plan. Needless to say, Clio said I would have to ask if there was ever another engagement.
So with one week before bub being born, I wrote with white tape on my back car window “MARRY ME CLIO?” - knowing we would be driving back together from a friends house. Clio almost blew the whole plan by having left her purse in McDonald’s, but luckily the purse was found, and I could speed in front of Clio just before the last few sets of lights home. The honking and light flashes answered YES.
When did you get married?
7th December 2019.
What was the main influence behind your wedding day?
Our original plan was to have a backyard wedding, to have everyone we love there to share in one big party. And then we heard about a competition run by Projekt 3488 where you could win the wedding of your dreams by answering one question, “What does inclusion mean to you?” We created a short animation, voiced by our 5-year-old daughter, and amazingly we won!
When it came time to make decisions for our wedding, we wanted the incredibly generous wedding sponsors to showcase whatever they wanted to showcase, be it trying something new or doing what they knew they did best. And it all came together like a dream. Best decision we could have made!
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
To look and feel amazing and be surrounded by everyone we love, and to celebrate our love.
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
We chose to have a cocktail-style reception where everyone could mingle and move around. Projekt 3488 is such a phenomenal location that it would be such a shame to keep everyone in one spot. As Clio has Coeliac disease, we were so relieved when Pedros from Ethos Catering and Stephanie from Lazy Sundays could make all our food gluten-free. The food was delectable!
Did you find it difficult to translate more common traditions into a ‘same-sex’ wedding?
Jess: When Clio revealed that she wanted to wear a wedding dress, I was first shocked, then a little upset that I didn’t feel like I knew Clio. She’d not worn a dress EVER in our 11+ years, and now she wanted to ruin the vision I’d had of walking down to her in a cute fancy 3 piece suit. Then I was worried about what often happens with two brides… the two dresses just don’t work together. It was made even more worrisome when Clio thought she would buy online. An agreement had to be made that we’d go shopping together for Clio’s dress. I think the real reason I was so worried is because I’m not attracted to girls in dresses (in general), and I’d never seen Clio in one. Long story short, the second dress she tried on looked amazing. From that moment I knew what I was working with and I kept my dress a secret from Clio. We managed to still get cute fancy 3 piece suits, but they were now for our bridal party; our daughter Adia-Tuesday, plus Anya and Kai (both 10 years old)
Clio: The other issue was working how we’d walk down the aisle considering that Jess wanted to keep things traditional, where we wouldn’t see each other from the night before. At the same time neither one of us is a man, so neither one of us wanted to be waiting at the altar. We both wanted to walk down the aisle with our parents. But it was all made quite fun with a little trusting closed-eyes exercise at the venue door, and lots of people around us making sure we couldn’t see each other.
Any surprises on your wedding day? Or anything that didn’t go to plan?
Everything was so perfect on the wedding front that there was nothing we could possibly complain about. But to say it went without a hitch, it would be a lie. Jess’s 73-year-old mum tripped and went flying over Jess’s dress train during the first dance and broke her coccyx.
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
For Jess, it was losing a heap of weight. We found out we’d won the competition on Mother’s Day, giving us only 30 weeks until the wedding. It was imperative to her that she’d use every week to get as close to her dream wedding weight goal as possible. Jess went from a size 26 to a size 14 and lost 47 kilos.
For Clio, the hardest thing was secretly eating junk food to not hurt Jess’s feelings.
Where did you spend your honeymoon?
We travel to Asia a couple of times every year, usually to escape Melbourne’s winter. We’d already used up a good chunk of our holiday time, so it was important to go somewhere that was not going to take a whole day of travel or crossing time zones. So, we chose a Balinese style boutique hotel in Byron Bay. It was a wonderful choice.
Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?
We were spoilt, there are no two ways about that. That being said we’d tell people to remind themselves why they’re choosing to get married in the first place… It’s not only for the party, after all! It’s for you both to ultimately share with everyone around you, that you believe you’ve met the person you choose and want to spend the rest of your life with. I know our wedding was extremely extravagant, and we were very lucky. Still, I think if we could have been able to afford to self-fund the wedding we had, we’d replicate it entirely. The practically stress-free wedding we were able to enjoy, would have made every cent worthwhile.
So essentially, our advice would be to get good people that know what they’re doing to help you.
Suppliers
Our undying gratitude lies with Mark, Sandi and Anthony at Projekt 3488 for dreaming up the Equality Projekt and seeing something in our little animation that led them to give us such a phenomenal gift. Thank you Projekt 3488 for the dreamy venue. Our fairy godfathers made everything happen from event planning, to styling & coordination.
Venue Projekt 3488
Photography Rick Liston, Suzanne Phoenix
Film C2 Films
Invitations Sonsie Studios
Makeup Makeup by Krystal Makeup
Flowers Anouk Flowers
Linen Yarra Linen
Entertainment Agent Cleave & Co, Anthony, we adore you!!
Accommodation Oscar’s on the Yarra, Warburton Motel
Transport Yarra Valley A2B
Celebrants Bianca Paliaga & Danielle Binaisse
Custom Designed Wedding Rings Adah Kelleher-Roulston
Catering Ethos Catering
Drinks Four Pillars Gin, Whispering Hills Vineyard, Payten & Jones Vineyard, Six Acres Vineyard, Steels Gate Vineyard, Hargreaves Hill Vineyard and Brewery, St Ronan’s Cider
Wedding Cake Locavore Studio
Gluten Free Dessert Table Lazy Sundays Melbourne
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