Daniel and Mark: An Intimate Poolside Wedding (With Just 16 Guests)
This super-dapper New Zealand couple, Daniel and Mark, meet at an audition for Evita, conveniently on Valentine's day.
The couple married in late 2020 after Covid had forced them to rethink their original wedding plans. They managed to downsize their wedding from 120 down to just 16, and oh, what a wedding it was.
Photographer The White Tree | Location Te Arai Lodge, New Zealand
“Covid was a blessing in disguise because choosing 16 guests who had to be in New Zealand, was far easier than deciding on 120.”
How and when did you meet?
Daniel: We met in 2016 while doing the Musical Stage "Evita". Mark was the Musical Director of the show and I was cast in the ensemble.
Tell us a little about the first time you met?
Mark: The first time we met was at Daniel's audition for the show, conveniently on Valentines Day, but that didn't stop me completely ignoring Daniel. I did cast Daniel in the show, so that could be considered as making the first move!? Daniel thought I was straight for the longest time, so it wasn't until a few months into the rehearsal period that we started to chat with one another before Daniel subtly (*not subtly) hinted that we should get to know each other more outside of the rehearsal room.
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
Daniel: The first thing I noticed about Mark was his humble confidence. He always seemed so cool and confident but was also a very impressive pianist, Musician = tick! But it wasn't until he walked into the rehearsal room the same day he had gone and gotten a haircut, then I was REALLY sold.
Mark: Daniel's style! I distinctly remember this large fur coat he would wear to evening rehearsals! His dancing was pretty phenomenal too. Every time I'd look up from the piano to watch what was happening on stage, he'd be the first thing I noticed, always pulling focus!
Any standout moments in your relationship?
Mark: So many! The first kiss in the rain, buying our first house, bringing our pups home for the first time, surviving 3 months living together with my parents, shopping for our engagement rings together. The wedding definitely tops the list though.
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?
Mark: When it came to our wedding, there were some pretty obvious and sad issues on Daniel's side in the extended family. Aunties and Uncles that declined to attend because they couldn't support our "marriage" but wanted us to know they still love us and who we are, ummm ok sure. Even worse was the cousins that RSVP'd yes and then went to talk to Daniel's immediate family members with questions like "How are you coming to terms with it?" or "I'll attend, but you know, all this gay stuff isn't for me".
At the end of the day, family or not, we don't want you there if you're only coming for the free meal. Sad, they didn't feel like they could even just message us or pick up the phone and have a talk with us directly. Safe to say when we revised the guest list, they weren't on it.
What does marriage mean to you?
Mark: Marriage is about finding someone you love, trust and respect, and committing to support them for the rest of your lives.
Who proposed and how?
Daniel: It was really more of a discussion. For my 21st Birthday, my Aunty and Uncle gave me a little bar of gold. After carrying it around for years, I finally decided to use it to make a piece of jewellery, after a bit of back and forth with the jeweller, one day Mark just said, "why don't we use it to make your engagement ring?". And that kick-started everything! It actually ended up becoming Mark's ring instead, which makes it extra special.
When did you get married?
We got married on the 19th December 2020.
Daniel and Mark’s Story Continues Below ↓
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
Our favourite people and our two gorgeous pooches!
Mark: There's culturally so much pressure to please other people when you plan a wedding. From the start, we agreed that the whole experience needed to be what WE wanted it to be. In the end, the most important things were family, friends, our pups, good food and good music.
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
Daniel: I had most of this in my head already! Although Mark did have to approve everything too. We tried not to look too much at other peoples weddings online, Instagram etc.. and instead let the meetings with our vendors drive a lot of our inspiration and physical elements. We aligned easily on the overall feel of the day - We wanted it to be Black Tie formal (no chino pants here, thanks!) and timeless, something that we could look back on the pictures when we are old and still think, we'd do it exactly the same if we did it again.
The one challenge we had was meeting in the middle between my big wedding ideas and Mark's more lowkey approach. Mark wasn't so fussed on welcome signs and seating charts but was definitely vocal when it came to the food!
When my parents got married, my Dad (sadly, not with us anymore) wore a peach bow tie, and it was important for me to incorporate that colour into the day somehow, which ended up being the florals.
How did you choose your suppliers?
The suppliers we chose needed to have an aligned aesthetic to ours that we could trust, trust, trust! We didn't want to dictate every detail but wanted to let them bring their creativeness and vision to elevate what we had in our minds. All our vendors started with the same two things - the theme, 'Black Tie' (because we knew we wanted it to be formal) and colour palette; Black and peach tones, the rest was up to them!
Of course, we had to do some editing between vendors to make sure it all aligned but at the end of the day, we let them do what they are good at!
It is also a given that our vendors had to unapologetically love and support us and our love for each other—no time for people who don't. So looking through previous work to see if they had worked previously with Queer and LGBT couples was also important.
Any standout suppliers?
Sue Cameron - Floral Stylist Co - Absolutely incredible. She has such an amazing vision for florals and doing things that are out of the ordinary. When we decided to downsize the wedding she worked with us to change some of the elements to make them work better with the new venue.
Jordan Herewini - Harlan Creative - Jordan did all our stationery… TWICE! She designed all our invites, website and on the day signage and then did it all over again when Covid struck, and we had booked in our new date. We wanted the new invites to have a different feel but still be elegant and timeless, and she absolutely delivered. Even when Daniel mentioned custom postage stamps Jordan didn't even go wide-eyed; instead just said "leave it with me" and before we knew it our wedding monogram was on a postage stamp!
Te Arai Lodge - There are no words to explain how amazing this place is. Family owned and operated by the Moores family, we were lucky enough to be the first wedding they ever hosted as it's not something they normally do. The suites were true 5-star luxury, and the garden to table food was exceptional; no small detail was overlooked or "too much". It was a luxury experience but delivered with the love and warmth only a family run business can provide. The whole experience could only be described as a big, warm hug.
Being an LGBTQI+ couple, was there anything you found unexpectedly difficult?
Daniel: Finding appropriate music was actually really hard. Once you start listening to the lyrics of most "love" songs, finding a song that didn't feature gender pronouns was surprisingly difficult.
Any surprises on your wedding day? Or anything that didn't go to plan?
Daniel: COVID! Never in a thousand years would I have put a global pandemic on my top 10 list of reasons why our wedding wouldn't go ahead. Fortunately, it gave us a really good opportunity to reevaluate what our wedding meant to us and change everything!
Mark: On the day, we did have a bit of a cake-tastrophy. Daniel forgot to mention to Mariksa (our amazing cake maker from Sweet Talk Cakes) that the road very suddenly turned from seal to gravel on your way up to the lodge, and the cake ended up a little worse for wear. Fortunately, Mariska worked her magic pulled it all together as if nothing happened!
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
Mark: To start with, the most difficult thing was actually the guest list. Covid was a blessing in disguise because choosing 16 guests who had to be in New Zealand, was far easier than deciding on 120.
Daniel: Getting Mark to agree on the budget!
Daniel and Mark’s Team
Photographer The White Tree
Videographer The White Tree
Venue Te Arai Lodge
Daniel’s Tuxedo Rembrandt
Daniel’s Ring Walker & Hall
Daniel’s Shoes Gucci
Daniel’s Watch Cartier
Daniel’s Brooch Chanel
Daniel’s Scent Jo Malone
Mark’s Tuxedo Rembrandt
Mark’s Rings Jewellers Workshop
Mark’s Shoes Working Style
Mark’s Watch Tissot
Mark’s Scent John Varvatos
Flowers Sue Cameron - Floral Stylist Co
Cake Sweet Talk
Stationery Harlan Creative
Celebrant Annabel Reynolds
Band/Music Duo The White Tree
More For You
