Gary and Carlos: A Destination Wedding In Rio
After considering numerous locations for their destination wedding, Gary and Carlos settled on Rio de Janeiro for their April wedding, which saw their wedding ceremony conducted in both English and Portuguese. “I said my vows in English, and Carlos said the same vows in Portuguese,” says Gary, “and all the wedding programs, menus, and signage were printed in English on one side and Portuguese on the other.”
Photographer Love Shake Photos | Location Rio de Janeiro, BRAZIL
“After briefly discussing wedding options, we decided we wanted a destination wedding. We considered places like Mykonos, Greece and Positano, Italy, but ultimately decided on Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.”
How and when did you meet?
Gary: Carlos and I met the old fashioned way at a nightclub in Boston, MA, over a dozen years ago.
Tell us a little about the first time you met?
Gary: Carlos, who is 6’4”, and I are both very tall and, because of this, usually stand out in a crowded space. We were both out with friends and I spotted him from across the club. We eventually struck up a casual conversation while ordering drinks from the bar, and as they say, the rest is history.
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
Gary: Carlos is a very handsome man, but his genuinely kind and perfect smile first made me take notice.
Carlos: Gary and I met at a weekly Latin themed party at the Rumor nightclub in Boston. This party typically attracts a Latino crowd. Gary, with his flowing blonde hair, stood out from the crowd.
Any standout moments in your relationship?
Gary: Though Carlos and I have travelled to so many beautiful places throughout North America, Central America, South America, the Caribbean and Europe, a real standout moment for me was our first trip to Brazil when I met his entire family for the first time. Though I speak very little Portuguese and they speak limited English, they managed to make me feel so incredibly welcomed. They were all so warm and kind and did everything possible to make me feel part of the family. At the end of that trip, Carlos’ father told me that I would always be welcomed in his home, and he hoped that I would be back soon. I joked that I would be back the following month.
Carlos: The standout moment in our relationship is when I gave up my apartment and officially moved in with Gary after knowing each other for six years. Something about that move solidified that this relationship was permanent.
What does marriage mean to you?
Gary: Though for many years now, I have not been able to imagine our relationship ever ending, I spent over a decade never even considering getting married. It has never been something that I dreamed about or set as a goal. Carlos and I were very committed to each other and our relationship, which was enough for us. The Covid-19 global pandemic changed that. This pandemic forced us to isolate without friends, family, travel, work or any social activity. We found ourselves coexisting together without any of the things that we typically love and enjoy. Though this proved to strain many relationships, we felt the exact opposite. We felt so happy and fulfilled to be sharing our lives. We realised that nothing else mattered, and we needed nothing else. It’s that realisation that led us to marriage.
Who proposed and how?
Gary: Once I realised that I wanted to marry Carlos, there was no reason to put the proposal off because we had already been together for 11 years. I used my pandemic quarantine time to engage in several creative projects, from cooking and painting to creative writing. It was during this time that I decided to write an illustrated children’s book called “My Reasons Why” as a Valentine’s Day gift for Carlos. This book has cartoon versions of Carlos and me and explains the myriad of reasons why two people love each other. The illustrations have the two of us having conversations that are conversations we have had over the years. The final page reads,
“Carlos, Valentine’s Day comes once a year, but you fill my life with love every single day. Thank you for supporting me on my worst days and celebrating with me on my best ones. You inspire me to be better. I am so happy to share my life with you. I promise to love you forever. Will you marry me?”
As the general manager of a restaurant, Carlos always works on Valentine’s Day because it’s one of the busiest nights of the year. Knowing that he had four days off the following week, I planned a post-Valentine’s Day surprise trip to Miami. I also arranged for a small group of our closest friends to surprise him and meet us there. Once our group of friends surprised him on the beach, I pulled the nicely wrapped book out of my backpack and gave it to him. As he read the book with tear-filled eyes, all of our friends surrounded us and started taking photos and videos. Everyone on the beach around us stopped talking to watch what was happening. Once he finished reading the book, I officially asked him if he would marry me, and he said yes. At that point, I pulled out a second gift-wrapped box from my backpack, which contained the platinum and diamond Cartier Love ring, which he now wears as his wedding ring. Then we popped open some bottles of champagne and had a toast. All the beachgoers around us erupted into a boisterous round of applause and many well wishes.
When did you get married?
We got married on April 8, 2022.
Gary and Carlos’ story continues below ↓
What was the main influence behind your wedding day?
Gary: After briefly discussing wedding options, we decided we wanted a destination wedding. We considered places like Mykonos, Greece and Positano, Italy, but ultimately decided on Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
Gary and Carlos: We both agree that the most important part of the wedding day is being surrounded by as many people you are about as possible. Because we both live away from our families, our friends have become family over the years. We wanted all of them to share in our big day. We saw this wedding celebration as an opportunity to entertain all of the wonderful people in our lives who have hosted and entertained us over the years.
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
Gary: We used the internet to identify several exciting venues in Rio de Janeiro. Once we compiled the list, we flew there to see them in person. Before we arrived in Rio, I had one venue I was most excited about, and Carlos had a different one. In the end, we chose neither of those venues, but instead Mansao Santa Teresa @mansaosantateresa . It was the panoramic mountain top view from the mansion that made us decide on that location. Though the mansion was beautiful, it was completely unfurnished and essentially a blank slate. We knew we could turn it into anything we wanted using decor and decoration.
How did you choose your suppliers?
Gary: The first thing we did after deciding on the venue was to hire event planners in Rio de Janeiro to help us pull off this destination wedding in the middle of a global pandemic in a country where I don’t speak the language. After interviewing five different companies, it was clear that TCD Events @tcdeventos was the best fit. They were the most responsive, professional, and bilingual, and one of the partners was a recently married gay man. After we described the elegant, non-traditional, black-tie wedding we wanted, TCD Events recommended we follow the Instagram and Youtube accounts of the best suppliers to help bring our vision to fruition. After checking out all these social media accounts, it was easy to decide which suppliers were most consistent with our vibe and aesthetic.
Any standout suppliers?
Gary: I would say that the two standout suppliers of our wedding were the florist Emporio Santa Rosa @emporiosantarosaflores and our custom candy maker Tatiana Nunes @tatiananunes_doces. As an artist, I really wanted unusual, creative, tropical floral scapes as the decoration for the wedding. I didn’t want to see many floral vases or containers. Instead, I told the florist I wanted the flowers to appear to be growing out of the floor, the bars, the tabletops, stairways and the ceiling. I had an idea to make the flowers get progressively more colourful as the party moved from space to space. The ceremony area flowers were white, cream and extremely pale shades of peach, yellow and green. The flowers at the cocktail hour on the terrace were stronger pastel versions of similar colours. Once we moved the party inside for the sit-down dinner, we substituted the white, yellow and green flowers for shades of dusty rose, pink and peach. After dinner, the party moved to the dance floor and candy lounge area, and we decorated with flowers in much bolder shades of pink and orange. The florist did a great job taking my non-traditional ideas and making them happen. We enlisted the candy making talents of Tatiana Nunes for make 500 pieces of handmade chocolates. Each piece of chocolate was presented in the centre of a fabric flower. Our cake and dessert table was covered with these 500 “flowers” on crystal trays and several real floral arrangements.
Also, our friend, Vanessa Maggio, became a justice of the peace in order to perform our wedding ceremony. She was with Carlos the night that we met. She once joked that “If you want to be with him (Carlos), you’re going to have to put up with me!” Because she had witnessed the development of our relationship from the very first seconds, she seemed to be the most logical and special choice to officiate our wedding ceremony.
Any surprises on your wedding day?
Carlos: We had several surprises on the wedding day, but they were for the guests, not us. Our wedding invitations invited guests to our wedding at a secret location in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We sent cars and drivers to pick up all of our guests on the day of the wedding. Even when they were en route to the wedding, guests still had no idea where they were going. We wanted the beautiful location and incomparable view to be a surprise.
We had one group of musicians before and during the ceremony. We had a second Bossa Nova group for the cocktail hour. We had a DJ for the dinner and dancing part of the evening. After an hour of dancing, we had a performance by members of Portela @oficialportela. Portela is a national award-winning samba school. The 12 drummers, vocalists, and passistas (samba dancers) surprised our guests by sneaking into the venue through the back door and making their entrance by coming down the stairway into the mansion’s grand hall. This dynamic high, energy surprise performance took the party to a whole new level!
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
Gary: Because I don’t speak Portuguese, the biggest challenge in planning the wedding was dealing with vendors that did not speak English. Google translate can only get you so far! I am so thankful for our bilingual event planners, who did a great job ensuring that everything was being communicated entirely and correctly. The other challenge, was planning everything virtually using computer video calls and photos. Not being able to see, touch or taste anything from our vendors made things a challenge but not impossible.
How did you overcome the language barrier on the wedding day?
Gary: Because we had some guests that only spoke English and some who only spoke Portuguese, we did the ceremony in both languages. I said my vows in English, and Carlos said the same vows in Portuguese. All the wedding programs, menus, and signage were printed in English on one side and Portuguese on the other.
Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?
Gary: I would recommend researching to find the best event planners for you. They should not only be reliable and good communicators, but it’s imperative to enjoy their company because it’s the people you will have the most contact with. Also, they will be around you on the day of the wedding, and that’s a day that you want to be surrounded by people you enjoy. I loved working with TCD Eventos! They made our wedding planning journey so much better.
Gary and Carlos’ Team
Photographer Love Shake Photos
Videographer Amor de Cinema Films
Venue Mansão Santa Teresa
Suits Gary wore a custom moire silk pearl white shawl-collar dinner jacket with black tuxedo pants and bowtie, a custom French cuff pique tuxedo shirt all by Amablé for Y2 Collection
Carlos wore a black peak lapel Lazio tuxedo from Suit Supply with a white Egyptian cotton tuxedo shirt by Tessitura Monti, Italy
Planner TCD Events
Decoration Gisele Lidman
Flowers Emporio Santa Rosa Flowers
Cake Casal Garci
Stationery Papel a la Carte
Celebrant Vanessa Maggio (a friend who was with us the night we met who became a justice of the peace so she could marry us.)
Catering Sapore Blu
Furniture Ambient Events and Opala Events
Custom Chocolates Tatiana Nunes
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