Matteo and Hakeem: Love In The Valley
Matteo and Hakeem’s love story is one that has spanned across the globe and brought them right here to Australia, where they celebrated their nuptials earlier this year. With COVID throwing their original wedding plans out of the window, these two decided on getting married anyway. Their guest list went from 80 down to 8, and Matteo and Hakeem finally got to say “I Do”.
Photographer Henry Paul Photography | Location Hunter Valley, NSW
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“I waited for years to find the right person that deserved to be called my Husband. Now, I always call Hakeem husband because I am just so happy that he finally is my husband. Marriage gives me a sense of belonging. I know I will always have him on my side and that he is the person I choose to be with.”
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How and when did you meet?
Hakeem: We met through the power of the internet (on Jack’d) in Singapore on the fateful day 9th December 2013. Matteo was on a business trip and we chatted for a while and decided for an evening drink at the Hilton Hotel.
Tell us a little about the first time you met?
Hakeem: I was just out of a relationship and was not looking for anything in particular. When I was chatting with Matteo online, it was more for seeking a companionship. We arranged to meet at the Hilton Hotel, and I remembered being late as I was lost (I am extremely bad with directions though I am a local). I was apologetic when we met.
Matteo: That was a long time ago, HAHAHA. Hakeem and I had chatted for a while before meeting, I was there on a business trip only for a week so we made that Monday an appointment to meet up for a drink. I mean, who goes out on a Monday night! I cannot remember the details on that evening but surely, we had a fun time getting to know each other. I feel it must have been a good first date as we spent each day of that week together after that. I was in Singapore only for a week and took a couple of days off as “sick leave” to spend more time with him.
What was the first thing you noticed about each other?
Matteo: Hakeem was wearing this grey t-shirt with a very deep V neck which showed his chest, and I was like WOW he is really cute… HAHAHA!!
Hakeem: His funny mannerisms being Italian and talking with his hands! LOL!
Any standout moments in your relationship?
Hakeem: For me, the standout moment was when we went for our first trip together to Bangkok after just getting to know each other for a month. Bear in mind after the first meeting in Singapore, Matteo went back to Italy. We planned to meet again in Bangkok. We planned everything online. People say that going on a trip together will reveal a lot about the other person. There was a 50/50 chance that I would be stuck with a horrible person for the Bangkok trip. But during that trip, I had the notion that I struck gold with Matteo =).
Matteo: After I moved from Italy to Shanghai in March 2014, we started 3 years in a long-distance relationship. We would see each other every couple of months but being able to survive those 3 years and being able to start our life together in Hong Kong after the long distance was a big moment for me.
Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?
Hakeem: Growing up in Singapore in a very religious and conservative environment, being gay is not accepted and it is something that is not discussed in the family. However, I need to live my true self and make sure that I am happy. It is something that I still need to work on with my family. I need to have the courage to start a conversation with my family and have yet to find my voice.
Despite all of this, I am glad that I have such a supportive husband and his family in my life. They helped me through when I was struggling with my family and made sure that I am accepted and loved for who I really am.
What does marriage mean to you?
Hakeem: Marriage means going through both the good and the bad times together. It is a journey that is full of obstacles, but we know that we have each other’s backs no matter the challenge.
Matteo: I always thought about getting married and having my little family. I waited for years to find the right person that deserved to be called my Husband. Now, I always call Hakeem husband because I am just so happy that he finally is my husband. Marriage gives me a sense of belonging. I know I will always have him on my side and that he is the person I choose to be with.
Who proposed and how?
Matteo: I proposed to Hakeem on the 9th December 2018, which is the same date we met but 5 years later. I had organised a surprise proposal at our friend's house, who was very lucky to have a big balcony in Hong Kong. Coincidentally Hakeem’s best friend from Singapore was in Hong Kong as well for a business trip.
We had a couple of friends over at their house as well, and as nothing happened, I sneaked out on the balcony, together with his best friend, everything was set up, rainbow unicorn balloons, roses and when Hakeem came out on the balcony, that is when it happened. With a heart rate of 120 bpm, standing still waiting for him, I took his hand, went down on one knee and expressed my love for him and proposed. He was shocked and more shocked that this happened in front of our best friends who were there to support us, celebrate with us and popped the champagne!
When did you get married?
Hakeem: We got married on our anniversary, 7th March which was the day that we decided to commit to each other. So, we have only one anniversary date to remember (Again I am extremely bad at remembering important dates) It took me 3 years to remember Matteo’s birthday.
Matteo: Knowing how bad Hakeem is with remembering important dates, I made it simple and optioned to get married on the same day we officially became boyfriends on the 7th March 2014… just 7 years later on the 7th March 2021.
Matteo & Hakeem story continues below ↓
In loving memory of two loved ones who had recently past, Matteo & Hakeem released two heart shaped balloons to hnou
What was the main influence behind your wedding day?
Hakeem: Initially, we were thinking of using our wedding to get the gang from all over the world together in the same place. It would be like a huge gay reunion for all our friends from all over the globe. However, COVID hit and we needed to change our plan and think about what is important. We stuck to the important people in our life that made our transition to Sydney easier. We wanted an intimate setting where the grooms and the 8 guests could have conversations and connect with one another at a personal level which could not be done if there were 80 guests.
What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding?
Hakeem: With the planning and stressors for the BIG DAY, sometimes couples tend to forget that the day is about celebrating their love for each other. For our wedding, I wanted to make sure that we celebrated our relationship, both the good and bad times. In addition, celebrating the journey that brought us to this moment. Enjoy, laugh, and cry because it has been one hell of a ride.
Matteo: For me, the most important thing was having my friends around. Hakeem and I lived in several countries and are relatively new to Australia as we have been here only for two years. Our families and friends who we know for a lifetime are in other countries. In Australia, we started to grow our friendship circle and so having a small wedding with 8 friends was amazing and made the whole experience more intimate, relaxing and we felt like it was a weekend with friends in the Hunter Valley, tasting wine, having fun and getting married!
Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?
Hakeem: I chose my wedding cake before my husband! I had it saved in my phone before I met Matteo. It is such a beautiful cake and I had it for the wedding! But most of my inspiration came from Pinterest and my favourite colour which is Teal. Matteo is the perfect partner as he let me do what I want. Well, I still consult with him and compromise. Like I wanted swans like in the Sex and the City 2 wedding scene, but I compromised. Relationships are all about compromising anyway. LOL.
How did you choose your suppliers?
Matteo: We did a lot of research on this matter. I know it is strange to think, but we had to make sure that the suppliers were comfortable with a LGBTQIA+ couple, and this is not only for the suppliers, but also for us, especially with the photographer. You do not want to have a photographer who can’t make you at ease and if they are not comfortable with two guys kissing, this will show in the quality of the photos. Remember, it is not a trial, this is your wedding day, and you can’t re-do the photos later. Our photographer Hank was amazing, and we strongly recommend him!
We researched the best suppliers for LGBTQIA+ couples, from the celebrant to the flowers. In the end, because we did not have a large-scale wedding, we did not have a lot of suppliers to deal with, but we still chose the suppliers that we were comfortable with.
Any standout suppliers?
Matteo: Firstly, Hank our photographer!! As I said before, he did an amazing job with our wedding photos, was with us the entire day, captured moments of the ceremony or the preparation that make us smile looking back at our wedding photos. Secondly, I would say the Tamburlaine Organic Wine, who let us use their vineyard for the ceremony and photos. Even the day before the wedding, we discussed the final arrangements of photos and petals on the floor to make sure everything was ready. And their Premium Organic Wine which they use only for weddings, was amazing!
Hakeem: I agree with Matteo. Hank is just an amazing human! He made us feel relaxed and the way he photographed us was so organic and our photos do not look forced! Also, Crystal from Tamburlaine Organic Wines, another amazing person. We changed our wedding dates twice, and she was so understanding and accommodating. We also changed the package from a large-scale event to an elopement and she helps us arrange it. We are blessed to have these two amazing people for our wedding.
Any surprises on your wedding day? Or anything that didn’t go to plan?
Hakeem: I think there weren’t any big surprises, but we had a Zoom room set up for our friends from overseas to live stream our wedding. That is the scary part. There are lots of things that can go wrong especially with internet stability in the Hunter Valley. We made sure that we tested the connection the day before the wedding.
On the day, some people couldn’t connect to the Zoom room, so we needed to take another phone out to create another Zoom room. I remembered one of our friends, Matthew, who was in charge of live streaming the wedding was so stressed (bless him) constantly asking everyone to mute their microphones, so they won’t interrupt the main screen. He did a fantastic job as everyone got to be part of the wedding ceremony.
What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?
Hakeem: We moved our wedding date twice. First due to Covid and then the second time to a personal circumstance. Matteo’s younger brother who was supposed to be his best man, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in October 2020. He was in Italy and the doctor told us that he might not have long to live. We rushed to change our wedding date again to March 2021 instead of October 2021 so that his brother could be a part of the wedding even if he is in Italy. Unfortunately, the therapy didn’t work, the cancer had spread out too much and took him away too early, too young. He passed away on the 22nd of January 2021, at 27 years old and so he didn’t make it to be there to celebrate our wedding. This was a very painful start to the year.
The most difficult part about planning the wedding is to juggle the emotions while we were still grieving. It’s still hard talking about this. We wanted to honour Matteo’s brother's memory and my best friend who also passed away due to cancer a few years ago. During the ceremony, we had a special moment where we released two heart-shaped balloons into the sky to honour their memories.
This was the most difficult thing about planning our wedding as we are still grieving for the loss of our loved ones. With Covid as well, families and people that we practically grew up with were not there physically to share our milestone.
Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?
Hakeem: Always remember that the day is about you and your partner. Not what society tells you how a wedding should look like or the expectations of other people. Do what is right for you and how you want to remember the day. Yes, there will be hiccups along the way but just like a relationship, it is never a smooth journey. There will be tears, frustrations and pulling out of hairs but at the end of the day you choose each other to spend the rest of your life together for a reason. You simply love each other too much! If it ever gets too much, step away from the planning and refocus on your love for each other.
Matteo: Couldn’t agree more with my Husband! Planning your special day can be exhausting, we did have arguments along the way, from the colour of the suits to the finances for the wedding which were never enough! Sometimes you feel frustrated about it, but you have to step back, take a breath and remember you are doing this for the love of your life, and it’s all about the two of you. So, who cares what your friends think, what your uncle or your grandma wants. It is you and your partner’s special day, make it memorable!
The Team
Photographer Henry Paul Photography
Venue Tamburlaine Organic Wines
Attire Joe Black
Cake Petals Cakery
Celebrant Victoria Langham
Catering Ceremony Deck Café Lovedale | Reception EXP Restaurant
Decorations Kellie
Bonbonniere Florin and Grace
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