James and Ben: Love, Tradition and Understated Glamour

Ben and James’ love story began with a parmi, a beer, and an instant connection that felt like fate. Their wedding was a beautifully curated celebration, seamlessly blending elegance with personal and cultural touches—from a surprise lion dance to a heartfelt tribute to their beloved dog, Henry. Thoughtfully designed to ensure every guest felt welcomed and immersed in the experience, their day was a reflection of their love, heritage, and shared vision for a wedding unlike any other.

Photographer Westerly | Location Perth, Western Australia, Australia

“We see marriage as the next step in formalising our commitment to each other. Having a constant companion for life, a confidant and a best friend by our side through all the brilliant and challenging things life throws our way.”

How and when did you meet?

We met in person for the first time on the 5th of December 2016 after chatting for a month or so on Grindr.

Tell us a little about that first time you met…

James and I met over a parmi and a beer at Clarence’s, a bar we both loved. Funny enough, we were surprised we hadn’t crossed paths there before. James picked me up after work, so our first meeting actually happened in the car—an interesting way to start, to say the least. But the moment we started talking, it felt like we’d known each other forever.

What was the first thing you noticed about each other?

Ben: From the moment we met, I was drawn to James' warmth, his sense of care and interest, his great sense of humour and by christ, that laugh. All of the things that made me fall in love with him. Don't ever change please!

James: I love how patient Ben is and how passionate he is with everything he puts his mind to. His resilience to get through all of life’s pressures and his ability to never sweat on the small stuff is one of his best traits and the reason why I love him so much. I really admire Ben’s unwavering love of his family and friends. I value family above nearly all else, so when I saw that Ben had so much love for his family, I knew Ben was a good one – in fact to quote myself correctly, I said that Ben’s love for his family proved he wasn’t a psycho.

Tell us about the standout moments in your relationship…

We have a big and loving group of friends so there’s always something going on. We’ve travelled a lot together, sought out incredible new experiences, and try to keep as active as possible. We spend a lot of time with our families who we both adore. Being there together for when some of our siblings have been married or to celebrate special occasions like significant family birthdays or wedding anniversaries has been extra special. We especially love being Guncles to our 8 nephews and nieces. But, we do have serious parenting duties at home – looking after the centre of our universe, our Weimaraner Henry. Our wedding day was the absolute highlight of our relationship. To be able to share our day with 200 friends and family in the way that we did is something that we will never forget. Another standout moment in our relationship was spending our honeymoon in the country we adore the most outside Australia, Japan. When we were in Tokyo, we were so honoured that friends of ours organised a wedding party for us that all of our closest friends from across Japan attended.

What does marriage mean to you?

We see marriage as the next step in formalising our commitment to each other. Having a constant companion for life, a confidant and a best friend by our side through all the brilliant and challenging things life throws our way.

Who proposed and how?

Ben: I arrived back home from Canberra after a work trip and turned around and headed down to Dunsborough with James for our nephew's 1st birthday party. We woke up on the day of the party and James said his sister had planned to go to a wine tasting coincidentally at a winery which has been a favourite of my family's for years. I thought it was odd that we were going to a tasting before a 1st birthday party with the whole family but being a wine lover, I went along with it. After a few tastings, I then found myself being led off into the gardens in the rain, which I was not impressed with on account of how long it took to do my hair! James was looking for a bench that 'the staff had told him about' and when he couldn't find it, the whole family turned back. I made a b-line to an undercover area where James took my hand, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him in front of his entire family.

When did you get married?

Friday 8th March 2024 - we chose this date because the number 8 is considered lucky in Asian culture and is associated with wealth, prosperity and success!

What was the main influence behind your wedding day?

We had envisaged a chic and classy affair without it feeling too pretentious and over the top (even though the guest list came to 200). We wanted our guests to be well looked after and taken on a journey throughout the day. Usually, during weddings, there is that awkward gap between the ceremony and reception where guests are left to their own devices. We did not want this at all, especially given the time of year that it was the last thing we wanted was for our guests to be looking for a bar out in the potential heat during the wedding party photos. So immediately after the ceremony, we invited guests to stay at the WA State Theatre Centre where we served drinks, a gelato cart and an oyster shucker. This was the perfect setting as all our guests mingled comfortably and all got to know each other. When it came time to depart the venue, all 200 guests took a short stroll through the Perth Cultural Arts Centre precinct and arrived at the reception at the WA Museum.

Did you incorporate any family sentiments or traditions?

James is Vietnamese, and he incorporated two beautiful traditions into our wedding—both of which were complete surprises to our guests. As we were introduced at the reception, we entered the museum wearing traditional Vietnamese wedding outfits, ao dai. James’s parents had recently travelled to Vietnam and had custom-made ao dai designed for us. The rich blue and red fabrics were absolutely striking, especially against the backdrop of our guests dressed in formal black tie.

Right after our entrance, the second surprise unfolded—a traditional lion dance. The energy of the drums, the movement, the colour—it was absolutely spectacular. For many of our guests, it was their first time experiencing a lion dance, and it made for such an unforgettable moment.

Another deeply personal touch for us was including our dog, Henry. Since he couldn’t be there in person, our wedding planner found a way to make sure he was still part of our day. A beautifully curated video of Henry was projected onto a wall at the ceremony venue, so as guests arrived and made their way up the stairs, they were greeted by his little face. It meant the world to us to have him there in some way.

Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?

Social media was a big influence. There is so much beautiful content out there but we wanted to craft a wedding that was unique but that was also true and reflective of who we are. We wanted to include aspects that reflected our personalities and interests. As mentioned above, we included Vietnamese culture but we also had a string quartet to perform at the ceremony which was a nod to Ben and James's love for music and Ben's position on the board of the WA Youth Orchestras. We also wanted to give our guests an experience they would never forget. For many it was their first time attending a function at both venues and we were so happy to be able to tie them together in the way that we did and thanks to our suppliers, it all came off seamlessly.

Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?

Take the time to find a stylist that understands your vision. A good planner will take all the stress away from the big day so all you literally need to do is turn up. After a few early meetings with our stylist, she got what we wanted to do and where we wanted to go. Then she elevated it with ideas and options that we could have only dreamt of which is absolutely what you want.

James and Ben’s Team

Photographer @_westerly

Wedding Styling and Coordination @the_modern_romantic

Venue @wamuseum @statetheatrecentre @juanitasbarsubiaco

Videography @chrismartincinema__

Celebrant Andy Baker @onegreatlife

Music @dolceensembles

Florist @katiecooperfloraldesign

Champagne Tower @champagnetowerperth_co

Content Creation @howcreativemedia

DJ @yonjovi

Stationery & Signage @wishboutiquestationery

Makeup Artist @hayleywilsonmakeupartist

Caterers @heyderandshears

Gelato Cart @conogelatoau

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