Sam and Vin: A Vibrant Blend of Culture

Sam and Vin’s Melbourne wedding was a vibrant celebration filled with love, laughter, and personal touches. From a choir of friends singing them down the aisle to a spectacular mix of Goan and local cuisines, their special day was a true reflection of their personalities and shared journey.

Photography La Moment Photography | Location Melbourne, AUS

“[Our Weddind] was a blend of our personalities and histories. Influences across the day ranged from the holy spaces and ceremonies of the monasteries we’ve stayed at, to contemporary art festivals like Dark Mofo and Rising, as well as the joy of local queer parties like Gaytimes festival, Honcho Disko and Popchops.”

How and when did you meet?

Vin: Whenever someone asks us this question, we exchange a glance, deciding how honest to be. Sometimes it would be easier to say we met online rather than ‘Sam and I met at a forum in Melbourne about the past, present and future of the Catholic Church and the LGBTQIA community, which was about 5 years ago now.’

Tell us a little about that first time you met…

Vin: Can you imagine a meeting between the queer community and the Catholic Archdiocese of Melbourne? There were people there that had fought battles for LGBTQ+ folks for decades, and they weren’t going to go easy. A debrief afterwards was desperately needed and fortunately, a mutual friend facilitated this at a Thai restaurant with a handful of others.

Sam: Vin quickly added me on Facebook afterwards, and we started meeting and having casual hangs with each other’s friends, just sussing each other out... Until a friend finally couldn’t stand it anymore and said ‘are you two dating yet or what???’

What was the first thing you noticed about each other?

Vin: He was pretty and sensible.

Sam: Vin had beautiful eyes and a well-fitted yellow shirt on.

Tell us about the standout moments in your relationship…

..a smoke-machine-filled house party we had in the shop frontage of Sam’s old share house. Navigating COVID lockdowns with loungeroom wig parties and home-cooked feasts with our housemates. A trip through Europe, India and Vietnam, in particular a week in the Aeolian islands.

Have you ever faced any issues of non-acceptance?

Vin: Our families had to make a journey to being the allies/advocates they now are, having not really known queer people before. Particularly my 98-year-old grandma, who is in Bangalore, India. She was born in 1926 and had an arranged marriage - people didn’t even marry for love then. Indian society even now remains conservative and generally homophobic. Despite all this, with discernment and time, she came to give our marriage her blessing and even made us a short video to share with our wedding guests. Overall we are very lucky - we know queer friends that want to get married, but have not done it to avoid causing division in their families.

What does marriage mean to you?

For a couple, marriage is a commitment to each other, not just to stay together while things feel good, but a commitment to make intentional efforts to keep them good. For our families and friends, marriage is a coming together of our tribes. A modern tribe is complex; not just blood relatives, but also 'chosen family', including those sometimes far away.

Who proposed, and how?

Sam: I proposed to Vin at a local park (Curtain Square) near where we lived. We’d been together for 4 years, lived with each other for almost a year, and we were about to have some time off to go see Vin’s family in WA and India. In secret, I’d called Vin’s parents a couple of months earlier to make sure they were on board with my intentions and organised a beautiful ring with Benjamin Rose jewellery. On the day, I had told Vin we were going to catch up with our friend Kate and her dog Ruthie for a picnic, and once we met them Kate ‘realised she had to go home to get something’. And so with Kate hiding behind the trees, I gave Vin a photobook of some of our favourite memories together and then popped the question! It was so special and after calling our families and interstate BFFs we met some of our close friends at a local bar where we got to surprise them with the news before we had dinner with my family.

When did you get married?

Saturday, Jan 20th, 2024 - we picked indoor venues to avoid Melbourne’s unpredictable weather.

 Sam and Vin’s story continues below ↓

Sam and Vin’s Goa Celebration

What was the main influence behind your wedding day?

We wanted a thoughtful and reverent ceremony, followed by a festival vibe of our favourite things and people. Overall it was a blend of our personalities and histories. Influences across the day ranged from the holy spaces and ceremonies of the monasteries we’ve stayed at, to contemporary art festivals like Dark Mofo and Rising, as well as the joy of local queer parties like Gaytimes festival, Honcho Disko and Popchops. Then it was about incorporating our own essence to it all. We had a choir of friends sing us down the aisle, and two talented friends (Teresa Ingrilli and Kevin O’Connor) sing an opera song as part of the ceremony. We featured Goan food at the reception, complemented with breads, salads and desserts from some of our favourite local Fitzroy eateries, and our friend Ludo made our wedding cake. Carla Zimbler provided amazing live projection art across the night and we had my Jazz teacher’s band play over dinner before the Popchops DJ’s kicked in playing back to back pop hits with This Just In. I used fonts, stationery design and tablescape inspo from a favourite French monastery we had visited and incorporated old tile patterns from Vin’s family villa in Goa. We had face painting for the kids, drag artist Nefertiti La Negra perform a Tina Turner moment, a gospel number and a Jessie Ware song. We even had a giant inflatable hand-painted ‘progress shark’ (google Sydney World Pride progress shark) dropped into the crowd.

What was the most important thing to you surrounding your wedding? 

It was important for us to be married in a church to share with LGBTQIA Christians that it is possible to integrate faith, sexuality and community in an authentic and celebrated way. Christianity has a long history of oppressing queer people. And yet the Jesus story is one of radical inclusion, of reaching toward the margins, of giving hope to the oppressed. Creating a truly queer-affirming Church space allowed us to hark back to what Christianity should have been - and could still be. Jesus himself would have no qualms about stomping his feet amongst the crowd at Wesley Church in joyful support of our marriage. We’re so grateful that the church and our minister Carlynne were there for the ride.

Did you incorporate any family sentiments or traditions?

Sam’s engagement ring was Vin’s Grandfather’s engagement ring - We walked down the aisle to a song from Sam’s grandma’s choral music - Our parents and their partners walked us down the aisle, and we had our brother and sister for our wedding party.

Where did you find the bulk of your inspiration?

Sam: THEODORE Mag was so necessary to help visualise and learn from other queer weddings. Otherwise Instagram, although you’ve got to keep a realistic head on your shoulders when delving into it. Two standout weddings I was inspired by were Simon Porte Jacquemus and Marco Maestri’s wedding, and William Stautberg and Ryan Kazmarek’s wedding. Perhaps it was the authenticity of their weddings and self-expression which inspired us on a similar path.

How did you choose your suppliers?

We prioritised local small businesses, with an eye for quality, detail, sustainability and reasonable prices.

What was the most difficult thing about planning your wedding?

We chose a DIY-heavy path for the event, which meant we could personalise it a lot but also meant there were a lot of moving parts and coordination required!

Where did you spend your honeymoon?

After the wedding we spent a week in Goa, India with our family and a handful of close friends, visiting Vin’s family home in the village, staying at a 400 year old converted Portuguese fort, and floating in the warm Indian ocean.

Any advice for other couples planning their day and finding it difficult to navigate the journey?

At the end of the day, if you have good people, good food and good music... it will be special no matter what happens. We had such a great time and important for our families and friends to celebrate together.

Sam and Vin’s Team

Ceremony & Officiant Wesley Uniting Church, Wesley Place

Reception Venue Fitzroy Town Hall

Photography La Moment Photography

Super8 Film Happy Days

Flowers XFlos

Projection Artist Carla Zimbler

Light Sculpture (In Portrait Photographers) Meagan Streader

DJs Popchops, This Just In

Jazz Band Elissa Rogers’s Band

Performing Artist Nefertiti LaNegra, the Sarina Williams of Drag

Catering Newton’s Goan Cuisine, Alimentari Salads, Baker Bleu

Chocolate Mousse Public Wine Shop

Wedding Cake Ludovic Pilot, Personal contact

Wines Noisy Ritual, Purvis Cellars

Ceremony Suits Kimmy Tailor, Hoi An

Reception Outfits Vin - Heritage India, Sam (shirt) - Mans

Rings Benjamin Rose

Lighting Wwave

Ceremony Livestream Turbo360

Crockery, Glassware, Kitchen Equipment Complete Function Hire

Tables & Seating The Table Station

Security CityWatch

Face Painting Little Party Faces

Coordination & Staffing Bron Belcher, Personal contact

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